In many ways the current T rebellion parallels the revolutionary tea rebellion. Like the Boston rebels, it’s all about a small band of committed people who no longer willingly tolerate discrimination and who go against the idea pushed by the faint of heart and self-absorbed that if we just wait long enough everything will get better. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness were pronounced then as unalienable rights. These rights now seem to be alienable to Barney Frank and the Democratic Party leadership. To them being able to work (life, liberty, and – depending on your job – the pursuit of happiness) are not for T’s (transgender people whose gender identity and/or gender expression are different than mainstream America). The argument that we should “wait awhile and we will come back and get you” was tried in 1776, again in the late 19th century with women’s rights, and, most recently, with the civil rights efforts of the 1960’s. It was a bogus argument every time and still is. Equality should not be a “wait your turn” issue. Frank, Pelosi, et al have shamed their party and all who believe in a just and fair America.
Like many civil rights movements, the outcry has not come from only those most impacted. LGB and civil rights friends have allied with T’s to cry out for a fundamental fairness that keeps the T in equaliTy. Over 200 state and national organizations have made it clear that they do not want a legislation that leaves out trans people. Of all the major organizations only the misnamed Human Rights Campaign has failed to take this position.
Urge your congressional representative to vote yes on an inclusive ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) and against any legislation that continues to support discrimination against gender expression and gender identity. Pease call or email today.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Food for thought
Here’s some food for thought:
A friend recently sent me the results of research done by the insurance industry on the incidence of transgender people in the United States. Their research concludes that there are approximately 20 million transgender people in this country and that about 400,000 of those are, like me, transsexuals (the severe end of the transgender spectrum of “gender identity disorder”).
This correlates very well with the research done by Lynn Conway from the University of Michigan finding that the incidence of transsexualism is about one in every 250 people in the United States. It supports the conclusions of Dr. Roughgarden (Harvard PhD and professor at Stanford) that transsexuals are unusual (statistical outliers) but well within the statistical definition of “normal”
So why are legal protections and societal acceptance so hard to come by? Think “women”, “blacks”, “disabled” and you will realize that the majority in power never easily accepts differences. Whether it is because they don’t want to admit that “they” are “us” too (my family, your family, our family), or because they fear a dilution of power, or just because they don’t want to acknowledge the rich diversity in God’s creation really doesn’t matter. It still hurts both society and people like me.
Sadly the one organization that should be leading the way in embracing all people (“God so loved the world”) often is the last to come to acceptance as illustrated in the church’s historic reluctance to accept blacks and see women as equal to men. Praying and working for change, Julie.
A friend recently sent me the results of research done by the insurance industry on the incidence of transgender people in the United States. Their research concludes that there are approximately 20 million transgender people in this country and that about 400,000 of those are, like me, transsexuals (the severe end of the transgender spectrum of “gender identity disorder”).
This correlates very well with the research done by Lynn Conway from the University of Michigan finding that the incidence of transsexualism is about one in every 250 people in the United States. It supports the conclusions of Dr. Roughgarden (Harvard PhD and professor at Stanford) that transsexuals are unusual (statistical outliers) but well within the statistical definition of “normal”
So why are legal protections and societal acceptance so hard to come by? Think “women”, “blacks”, “disabled” and you will realize that the majority in power never easily accepts differences. Whether it is because they don’t want to admit that “they” are “us” too (my family, your family, our family), or because they fear a dilution of power, or just because they don’t want to acknowledge the rich diversity in God’s creation really doesn’t matter. It still hurts both society and people like me.
Sadly the one organization that should be leading the way in embracing all people (“God so loved the world”) often is the last to come to acceptance as illustrated in the church’s historic reluctance to accept blacks and see women as equal to men. Praying and working for change, Julie.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Heros Needed
I don’t feel like a hero. To my shame, I was a reluctant activist. I would write congressmen and senators and give to civil rights organizations, but it was all behind the scenes. The actions taken against me by the university where I worked gave me the kick in the pants (or skirt) I needed. Now I expect to be as active and vocal as I can as long as I can.
This week I had two incidents that shook me a little. At Transgender Michigan’s Pride in the Park I had three different people come up to me and tell me that I was a hero to them. Then yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Thanks again, Julie - The world has long needed a strength like you.” I don’t feel like a hero. What makes others think that? I have reached two tentative conclusions. First, every movement needs leaders who – like it or not – are perceived as heroes. Second, we need - desperately need - more heroes.
What made me a “hero”? It was a little over a year ago when I sat in a rocking chair in our living room with a handgun in my lap. I had composed an email to be sent that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” Then God broke through. I had a lot of friends praying for me during those very dark and difficult days. I believe their prayers saved my life. As I sat wrestling in my mind, I realized I loved my wife and kids (and grandson) too much to end my life. And in that moment I decided to not let hate and discrimination claim another victim. I chose to live and I chose to do all that I can to keep hate and discrimination ruining or ending as many other lives as I could.
So I began to tell me story and Joanne often was able to share her story as well. In God’s providence the story was told and people listened. For over a month I averaged 2-3 media interviews a weekday; including everything from student newspapers and local media to Fox News, Newsweek, and the Wall Street Journal. I was getting 80-100 emails a day from people encouraged by the story to be vocal, active, or supportive. All I did was tell my story and seek to live as authentic a life as I could. I guess that made me a hero. I don’t feel like a hero, but if that is what I am, more are needed. Want to be a hero? Tell your story and/or encourage others to tell theirs. You will be a hero . . . at least to me.
This week I had two incidents that shook me a little. At Transgender Michigan’s Pride in the Park I had three different people come up to me and tell me that I was a hero to them. Then yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Thanks again, Julie - The world has long needed a strength like you.” I don’t feel like a hero. What makes others think that? I have reached two tentative conclusions. First, every movement needs leaders who – like it or not – are perceived as heroes. Second, we need - desperately need - more heroes.
What made me a “hero”? It was a little over a year ago when I sat in a rocking chair in our living room with a handgun in my lap. I had composed an email to be sent that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” Then God broke through. I had a lot of friends praying for me during those very dark and difficult days. I believe their prayers saved my life. As I sat wrestling in my mind, I realized I loved my wife and kids (and grandson) too much to end my life. And in that moment I decided to not let hate and discrimination claim another victim. I chose to live and I chose to do all that I can to keep hate and discrimination ruining or ending as many other lives as I could.
So I began to tell me story and Joanne often was able to share her story as well. In God’s providence the story was told and people listened. For over a month I averaged 2-3 media interviews a weekday; including everything from student newspapers and local media to Fox News, Newsweek, and the Wall Street Journal. I was getting 80-100 emails a day from people encouraged by the story to be vocal, active, or supportive. All I did was tell my story and seek to live as authentic a life as I could. I guess that made me a hero. I don’t feel like a hero, but if that is what I am, more are needed. Want to be a hero? Tell your story and/or encourage others to tell theirs. You will be a hero . . . at least to me.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
A Letter
The following letter (with the names removed) was sent to a couple of college friends from a long, long, long time ago. Like many others, they questioned whether the assertion of my rights was the best Christian response. I believe it was and would do it again for some of the reasons that are below (and some others that are more personal). I hope this helps some understand why we did what we did.
March 14, 2007
Dear C & B,
Thanks for your note and your expression of care and prayer. I appreciate both your question and the spirit in which you asked it. Others have had similar questions so I will try my best to help you understand my perspective on the “rights” issue.
I guess if life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are rights – rights given to us by God according to our country’s Christian founding fathers – then I am guilty as charged in asserting my rights. That first right has particular significance to me because the ignorance and hate of society, often especially from Christians, almost caused the end of my life. Because of the university’s decision to, I believed, violate federal and state laws, I became severely depressed at the contract restrictions placed on me. One day I sat with a gun in my lap and actually composed an email that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” In that moment, I decided that instead of taking my life I would stand up to bigotry and discrimination for myself and thousands like me who have no voice. To me “asserting my rights” is on a higher, Godly plane than submitting – not to God – but to a perversion of Christianity that uses Christian language to defend hate, exclusion, and bullying.
As an Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) employer, Spring Arbor University (SAU) willing committed to prescribed standards of non-discrimination. SAU’s EEO statement and statement on their commitment to diversity were even stronger. In filing my EEO complaint I was simply trying to help SAU be an institution of integrity by holding them accountable for commitments they had publicly made. I guess that can also be seen as “asserting my rights” but it is also an issue of corporate integrity and Christian witness. Should Christian organizations be able to get the significant benefits gained by being an EEO employer while ignoring EEO law? Should religious organizations be allowed to discriminate by clothing their bigotry in the robes of Christianity? I don’t think so, so I asserted my rights and filed a complaint. I only did this after having 11 people of Christian maturity pray with me about this. I asked them (some of them university employees and some quite conservative) if they saw any “yellow or red lights” in my intended action. None did and 8 of the 11 said, “You need to do this right away.”
At another level, my actions were for more than just me. There are thousands who share my medical diagnosis and treatment who are unable or unwilling to stand up for their rights. In consequence they often suffer the loss of jobs, family, health, and sometimes life itself. For over a month, I have heard from people all across the world at the rate of 10-12 letters or emails a day saying that my actions give them hope. I have spoken at a number of college and university campuses, averaged 2-3 media interviews a day (print, radio, and TV), and will be testifying before state legislators in April and Congress in May. Joanne and I have consistently seen God’s hand in this and see the actions of Christ for the disenfranchised as a powerful example for us to follow. Two people have said that my actions have given them enough hope to go on with life. The disenfranchised need the voice of others.
I guess if you were to be consistent in arguing against “asserting our rights” one would have to have been opposed to the abolitionists and suffragettes, Martin Luther King, and the modern day advocates of disability rights. Slavery would still exist, women would still be treated like property, Blacks would be still riding in the back of the bus, and the disabled would still be expected to sell pencils on the curbside. Joanne and I have responded to God’s call in our life and, in the process, have grown immeasurably stronger in our relationship to each other and more confident than ever of our faithfulness to His rule in our lives. We believe – in contrast to some in the Church – that Christ died for people like me as well as them.
Even the Apostle Paul asserted his rights (with little hope of success) when he perceived a greater good available. Ultimately we may have little hope for immediate victory (although our discrimination case has reached a mediated settlement with which we are very happy), but do believe it is still worth the effort. At Eastern Michigan University on Monday night, Joanne and I spoke for about 45 minutes and then took questions for nearly an hour. Near the end of that time a student stood up and made a statement instead of asking a question. She said, “You two have changed my life forever. I now have a new definition of love.” You see, as we have been telling our story we have had opportunities to share our love and our faith. Jesus said, “My disciples will be known by their love.” We are excited about sharing that love.
So, if you can keep praying we both will appreciate it. Feel free to keep asking questions. If you want to email me, I will be glad to send you more information. Thank you again for taking the time to reach out and express your concern and care.
All the best.
Your sister in Christ,
Julie Nemecek
March 14, 2007
Dear C & B,
Thanks for your note and your expression of care and prayer. I appreciate both your question and the spirit in which you asked it. Others have had similar questions so I will try my best to help you understand my perspective on the “rights” issue.
I guess if life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are rights – rights given to us by God according to our country’s Christian founding fathers – then I am guilty as charged in asserting my rights. That first right has particular significance to me because the ignorance and hate of society, often especially from Christians, almost caused the end of my life. Because of the university’s decision to, I believed, violate federal and state laws, I became severely depressed at the contract restrictions placed on me. One day I sat with a gun in my lap and actually composed an email that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” In that moment, I decided that instead of taking my life I would stand up to bigotry and discrimination for myself and thousands like me who have no voice. To me “asserting my rights” is on a higher, Godly plane than submitting – not to God – but to a perversion of Christianity that uses Christian language to defend hate, exclusion, and bullying.
As an Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) employer, Spring Arbor University (SAU) willing committed to prescribed standards of non-discrimination. SAU’s EEO statement and statement on their commitment to diversity were even stronger. In filing my EEO complaint I was simply trying to help SAU be an institution of integrity by holding them accountable for commitments they had publicly made. I guess that can also be seen as “asserting my rights” but it is also an issue of corporate integrity and Christian witness. Should Christian organizations be able to get the significant benefits gained by being an EEO employer while ignoring EEO law? Should religious organizations be allowed to discriminate by clothing their bigotry in the robes of Christianity? I don’t think so, so I asserted my rights and filed a complaint. I only did this after having 11 people of Christian maturity pray with me about this. I asked them (some of them university employees and some quite conservative) if they saw any “yellow or red lights” in my intended action. None did and 8 of the 11 said, “You need to do this right away.”
At another level, my actions were for more than just me. There are thousands who share my medical diagnosis and treatment who are unable or unwilling to stand up for their rights. In consequence they often suffer the loss of jobs, family, health, and sometimes life itself. For over a month, I have heard from people all across the world at the rate of 10-12 letters or emails a day saying that my actions give them hope. I have spoken at a number of college and university campuses, averaged 2-3 media interviews a day (print, radio, and TV), and will be testifying before state legislators in April and Congress in May. Joanne and I have consistently seen God’s hand in this and see the actions of Christ for the disenfranchised as a powerful example for us to follow. Two people have said that my actions have given them enough hope to go on with life. The disenfranchised need the voice of others.
I guess if you were to be consistent in arguing against “asserting our rights” one would have to have been opposed to the abolitionists and suffragettes, Martin Luther King, and the modern day advocates of disability rights. Slavery would still exist, women would still be treated like property, Blacks would be still riding in the back of the bus, and the disabled would still be expected to sell pencils on the curbside. Joanne and I have responded to God’s call in our life and, in the process, have grown immeasurably stronger in our relationship to each other and more confident than ever of our faithfulness to His rule in our lives. We believe – in contrast to some in the Church – that Christ died for people like me as well as them.
Even the Apostle Paul asserted his rights (with little hope of success) when he perceived a greater good available. Ultimately we may have little hope for immediate victory (although our discrimination case has reached a mediated settlement with which we are very happy), but do believe it is still worth the effort. At Eastern Michigan University on Monday night, Joanne and I spoke for about 45 minutes and then took questions for nearly an hour. Near the end of that time a student stood up and made a statement instead of asking a question. She said, “You two have changed my life forever. I now have a new definition of love.” You see, as we have been telling our story we have had opportunities to share our love and our faith. Jesus said, “My disciples will be known by their love.” We are excited about sharing that love.
So, if you can keep praying we both will appreciate it. Feel free to keep asking questions. If you want to email me, I will be glad to send you more information. Thank you again for taking the time to reach out and express your concern and care.
All the best.
Your sister in Christ,
Julie Nemecek
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Settlement
After 13+ hours over two days, the university and I have reached a "mutually satisfactory" settlement. Part of the nature of EEOC mediation is that the process and details of settlement cannot be discussed. Joanne and I are grinning and I am hoping to do some consulting and speaking (hopefully eventually for income), write a book, and do ongoing lobbying for changes in the laws and societal responses related to transgender people. I may also teach some. Keep us in your prayers as we continue to seek to be faithful to God's leading in our lives.
Joanne and I met with an auditorium full of Eastern Michigan University students (mostly) and some faculty last night. We told our story for about 45 minutes and then answered questions for nearly an hour. Near the end of the time, a student stood up and made a statement instead of asking a question. She said, "The two of you have changed my life forever. I now have a new definition of love." Moments like that make the occasional hassles all worthwhile.
Joanne and I met with an auditorium full of Eastern Michigan University students (mostly) and some faculty last night. We told our story for about 45 minutes and then answered questions for nearly an hour. Near the end of the time, a student stood up and made a statement instead of asking a question. She said, "The two of you have changed my life forever. I now have a new definition of love." Moments like that make the occasional hassles all worthwhile.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
There's a Lot of Mis-information Out There
I have seen a lot of posts on the blogosphere that are factually incorrect on the basics of my Father's situation. Sometimes their whole logic falls apart. I think many of these are honest mistakes, or the result of the knee-jerk reaction of bloggers to emote about a story, even if they haven't read it all correctly. I ran across one today that made me laugh. It was just another example of not getting all the facts straight.
From the blog "Cheat Seeking Missiles" which ironically claims "precision guided logic bombs to destroy biased purveyors of 'Dem'entia" comes this quote (emphasis added, spelling as in the original):
From the blog "Cheat Seeking Missiles" which ironically claims "precision guided logic bombs to destroy biased purveyors of 'Dem'entia" comes this quote (emphasis added, spelling as in the original):
The college cited a community covenant all employees must sign, affirming biblical principles and tht they will "model Christian character to our students." They are not required to be Free Methodists, according to U prez Gayle D. Beebe, but, she (and she is a she) told the WSJ, "It's an expectation they will be acting out the Christian faith both in the way they teach and in the way they live."I have it on good sources that Dr. Gayle D. Beebe is in fact, a man (or at least he presents as one).
Mediation Update
My Father spent 7 1/2 hours in mediation today with his lawyer and a team of lawyers from Spring Arbor University. Mediation is to resume on Monday. Most of the other goings on of the mediation are kept in confidence (that's how these things go).
Monday, March 5, 2007
Rules and Relationships
The story of the Bible is one of God saving us from ourselves. It is like a Shakespearean tragedy with a twist. We are the tragically flawed, but the perfect character is the one that makes the sacrifice. The most phenomenal part about the whole thing, is that he does this to save us. More than anything God desires a relationship with us, and that we have good relationships with one another. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength; and love your neighbor as yourself. It is a tragedy to see the Bible taken as "God's instruction book" and used to destroy relationships.
The first sin of mankind was giving in on a temptation to a false promise: To know good and evil; to be like God. The consequence was broken relationships with God, and lives filled with misery. Man used his newfound "wisdom" to try to judge God and his wife (don't try this at home). God gave us 10 simple rules, but we couldn't even follow those. More rules followed, and more transgressions. By the time Jesus arrives on the scene, we think we have it all figured out. Our "holiest" men, the Pharisees, tell the Son of God how it really is. Jesus breaks a number of their silly rules, and relates to people in amazing ways. Not only that, he performs miracles to bring the outcasts back in to society, and heals the relationally broken, even raising the dead.
Jesus chose the twelve brightest scribes to be his disciples, right? No. He assembled a motley crew of folks who would be with him wherever he went. 2000 years later, we have the Bible in hundreds of different languages. What reason do we have to think we can understand good and evil any better? We do have the Holy Spirit. The wonderful thing about the Holy Spirit is it guides us in our own lives, and helps us know right from wrong. It is also something we can share with others in community, but the Spirit doesn't tell us when others do wrong.
The tragedy of The Church is that it spends so much effort in trying to figure out good and evil, and not enough time living in relationships with real people. The rules in the Bible are there for a good reason. They're meant to help us in our relationships with one another and with God. They tell us how to relate. They are perfect. We, however, are not. If we are honest with ourselves, there are a lot of "rules" in the Bible that we don't understand. There are probably even more rules that we think we understand. Maybe it's time to let go of that temptation to know all good and evil. We have the Spirit to guide us on our way, and maybe that's enough. Maybe it's enough to know what is good and evil for me to do.
The situation with my father and Spring Arbor University is just one more example of a broken situation, a broken relationship. Can I point a finger at one side or the other and say "you've done this?" It would be only too easy to blame the serpent for all our tragic flaws. It isn't easy (is it possible?) to understand what God's divine law really says here (and only slightly easier to understand U.S. Law). What we can do is focus on doing something positive, mending our own broken relationships.
God, I pray that you would be with my parents, Spring Arbor University, and lawyers for both parties as they attempt to mediate tomorrow. Let your Holy Spirit guide the situation and work in these relationships. I pray that in the middle of this mess, You would receive the glory, and that Your will would be done. Amen.
The first sin of mankind was giving in on a temptation to a false promise: To know good and evil; to be like God. The consequence was broken relationships with God, and lives filled with misery. Man used his newfound "wisdom" to try to judge God and his wife (don't try this at home). God gave us 10 simple rules, but we couldn't even follow those. More rules followed, and more transgressions. By the time Jesus arrives on the scene, we think we have it all figured out. Our "holiest" men, the Pharisees, tell the Son of God how it really is. Jesus breaks a number of their silly rules, and relates to people in amazing ways. Not only that, he performs miracles to bring the outcasts back in to society, and heals the relationally broken, even raising the dead.
Jesus chose the twelve brightest scribes to be his disciples, right? No. He assembled a motley crew of folks who would be with him wherever he went. 2000 years later, we have the Bible in hundreds of different languages. What reason do we have to think we can understand good and evil any better? We do have the Holy Spirit. The wonderful thing about the Holy Spirit is it guides us in our own lives, and helps us know right from wrong. It is also something we can share with others in community, but the Spirit doesn't tell us when others do wrong.
The tragedy of The Church is that it spends so much effort in trying to figure out good and evil, and not enough time living in relationships with real people. The rules in the Bible are there for a good reason. They're meant to help us in our relationships with one another and with God. They tell us how to relate. They are perfect. We, however, are not. If we are honest with ourselves, there are a lot of "rules" in the Bible that we don't understand. There are probably even more rules that we think we understand. Maybe it's time to let go of that temptation to know all good and evil. We have the Spirit to guide us on our way, and maybe that's enough. Maybe it's enough to know what is good and evil for me to do.
The situation with my father and Spring Arbor University is just one more example of a broken situation, a broken relationship. Can I point a finger at one side or the other and say "you've done this?" It would be only too easy to blame the serpent for all our tragic flaws. It isn't easy (is it possible?) to understand what God's divine law really says here (and only slightly easier to understand U.S. Law). What we can do is focus on doing something positive, mending our own broken relationships.
God, I pray that you would be with my parents, Spring Arbor University, and lawyers for both parties as they attempt to mediate tomorrow. Let your Holy Spirit guide the situation and work in these relationships. I pray that in the middle of this mess, You would receive the glory, and that Your will would be done. Amen.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Saturday Feature: In TG Shoes - Bathrooms
This Saturday, I thought I'd bring up something that for most of us, is a pretty normal everyday thing, but for someone who is transgendered, it must be intimidating. No matter which restroom you use (etiquette says to use the one that matches how you present yourself), it could lead to a confrontation. Sometimes, it could even lead to violence against the transgendered individual. Safe2pee.org tries to offer a resource for transgendered persons in public places. They are attempting to catalog bathrooms that are either single stall with a locking door, or omni-sex. I'm not sure it would make a very good resource for transgendered people (those outside of San Francisco at least) but it highlights the issue in a way that makes you think about it. Also, it's a Google maps mashup, so if you know up TG friendly bathrooms in your area, you can add them to the list.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Audio Clip
Michigan Equality has an audio version of my story (with a picture) for those that may be interested. http://www.michiganequality.org/ARTICLES/ComingOutStories/nemecek.shtml
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