I don’t feel like a hero. To my shame, I was a reluctant activist. I would write congressmen and senators and give to civil rights organizations, but it was all behind the scenes. The actions taken against me by the university where I worked gave me the kick in the pants (or skirt) I needed. Now I expect to be as active and vocal as I can as long as I can.
This week I had two incidents that shook me a little. At Transgender Michigan’s Pride in the Park I had three different people come up to me and tell me that I was a hero to them. Then yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Thanks again, Julie - The world has long needed a strength like you.” I don’t feel like a hero. What makes others think that? I have reached two tentative conclusions. First, every movement needs leaders who – like it or not – are perceived as heroes. Second, we need - desperately need - more heroes.
What made me a “hero”? It was a little over a year ago when I sat in a rocking chair in our living room with a handgun in my lap. I had composed an email to be sent that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” Then God broke through. I had a lot of friends praying for me during those very dark and difficult days. I believe their prayers saved my life. As I sat wrestling in my mind, I realized I loved my wife and kids (and grandson) too much to end my life. And in that moment I decided to not let hate and discrimination claim another victim. I chose to live and I chose to do all that I can to keep hate and discrimination ruining or ending as many other lives as I could.
So I began to tell me story and Joanne often was able to share her story as well. In God’s providence the story was told and people listened. For over a month I averaged 2-3 media interviews a weekday; including everything from student newspapers and local media to Fox News, Newsweek, and the Wall Street Journal. I was getting 80-100 emails a day from people encouraged by the story to be vocal, active, or supportive. All I did was tell my story and seek to live as authentic a life as I could. I guess that made me a hero. I don’t feel like a hero, but if that is what I am, more are needed. Want to be a hero? Tell your story and/or encourage others to tell theirs. You will be a hero . . . at least to me.
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3 comments:
Dear Julie, you became a hero to me when you chose to put the gun down. A caring life who risks his/her Earthly existence in, as an example, an attempt to stop a mugging or rape reacts to the moment and rightfully becomes a hero to be honored. A fellow member of mankind who decides over much time, especially at the last moment, to fight and grow from community (or even self) imposed disgrace is, to me, an even greater hero figure for my children to emulate. By your publicized action you have potentially led many more to struggle to live. Thank you!
The sufficating pit, of despair and disgrace, you found yourself in was not of your doing. You are now leading many of us to reevaluate the destructive consequences of mankind's traditonal and ritual judgement over that of God's inspiration to love one another, especially those who would show us mercy as you do. Thank you, also, for that.
Dear herm,
Thank you for your very kind words. Joanne and I do see our efforts as a mission, a ministry, and a calling. Your encouragement means much. Change is happening.
You, both, have given me hope in dark times.
Thank you.
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