In many ways the current T rebellion parallels the revolutionary tea rebellion. Like the Boston rebels, it’s all about a small band of committed people who no longer willingly tolerate discrimination and who go against the idea pushed by the faint of heart and self-absorbed that if we just wait long enough everything will get better. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness were pronounced then as unalienable rights. These rights now seem to be alienable to Barney Frank and the Democratic Party leadership. To them being able to work (life, liberty, and – depending on your job – the pursuit of happiness) are not for T’s (transgender people whose gender identity and/or gender expression are different than mainstream America). The argument that we should “wait awhile and we will come back and get you” was tried in 1776, again in the late 19th century with women’s rights, and, most recently, with the civil rights efforts of the 1960’s. It was a bogus argument every time and still is. Equality should not be a “wait your turn” issue. Frank, Pelosi, et al have shamed their party and all who believe in a just and fair America.
Like many civil rights movements, the outcry has not come from only those most impacted. LGB and civil rights friends have allied with T’s to cry out for a fundamental fairness that keeps the T in equaliTy. Over 200 state and national organizations have made it clear that they do not want a legislation that leaves out trans people. Of all the major organizations only the misnamed Human Rights Campaign has failed to take this position.
Urge your congressional representative to vote yes on an inclusive ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) and against any legislation that continues to support discrimination against gender expression and gender identity. Pease call or email today.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Food for thought
Here’s some food for thought:
A friend recently sent me the results of research done by the insurance industry on the incidence of transgender people in the United States. Their research concludes that there are approximately 20 million transgender people in this country and that about 400,000 of those are, like me, transsexuals (the severe end of the transgender spectrum of “gender identity disorder”).
This correlates very well with the research done by Lynn Conway from the University of Michigan finding that the incidence of transsexualism is about one in every 250 people in the United States. It supports the conclusions of Dr. Roughgarden (Harvard PhD and professor at Stanford) that transsexuals are unusual (statistical outliers) but well within the statistical definition of “normal”
So why are legal protections and societal acceptance so hard to come by? Think “women”, “blacks”, “disabled” and you will realize that the majority in power never easily accepts differences. Whether it is because they don’t want to admit that “they” are “us” too (my family, your family, our family), or because they fear a dilution of power, or just because they don’t want to acknowledge the rich diversity in God’s creation really doesn’t matter. It still hurts both society and people like me.
Sadly the one organization that should be leading the way in embracing all people (“God so loved the world”) often is the last to come to acceptance as illustrated in the church’s historic reluctance to accept blacks and see women as equal to men. Praying and working for change, Julie.
A friend recently sent me the results of research done by the insurance industry on the incidence of transgender people in the United States. Their research concludes that there are approximately 20 million transgender people in this country and that about 400,000 of those are, like me, transsexuals (the severe end of the transgender spectrum of “gender identity disorder”).
This correlates very well with the research done by Lynn Conway from the University of Michigan finding that the incidence of transsexualism is about one in every 250 people in the United States. It supports the conclusions of Dr. Roughgarden (Harvard PhD and professor at Stanford) that transsexuals are unusual (statistical outliers) but well within the statistical definition of “normal”
So why are legal protections and societal acceptance so hard to come by? Think “women”, “blacks”, “disabled” and you will realize that the majority in power never easily accepts differences. Whether it is because they don’t want to admit that “they” are “us” too (my family, your family, our family), or because they fear a dilution of power, or just because they don’t want to acknowledge the rich diversity in God’s creation really doesn’t matter. It still hurts both society and people like me.
Sadly the one organization that should be leading the way in embracing all people (“God so loved the world”) often is the last to come to acceptance as illustrated in the church’s historic reluctance to accept blacks and see women as equal to men. Praying and working for change, Julie.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Heros Needed
I don’t feel like a hero. To my shame, I was a reluctant activist. I would write congressmen and senators and give to civil rights organizations, but it was all behind the scenes. The actions taken against me by the university where I worked gave me the kick in the pants (or skirt) I needed. Now I expect to be as active and vocal as I can as long as I can.
This week I had two incidents that shook me a little. At Transgender Michigan’s Pride in the Park I had three different people come up to me and tell me that I was a hero to them. Then yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Thanks again, Julie - The world has long needed a strength like you.” I don’t feel like a hero. What makes others think that? I have reached two tentative conclusions. First, every movement needs leaders who – like it or not – are perceived as heroes. Second, we need - desperately need - more heroes.
What made me a “hero”? It was a little over a year ago when I sat in a rocking chair in our living room with a handgun in my lap. I had composed an email to be sent that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” Then God broke through. I had a lot of friends praying for me during those very dark and difficult days. I believe their prayers saved my life. As I sat wrestling in my mind, I realized I loved my wife and kids (and grandson) too much to end my life. And in that moment I decided to not let hate and discrimination claim another victim. I chose to live and I chose to do all that I can to keep hate and discrimination ruining or ending as many other lives as I could.
So I began to tell me story and Joanne often was able to share her story as well. In God’s providence the story was told and people listened. For over a month I averaged 2-3 media interviews a weekday; including everything from student newspapers and local media to Fox News, Newsweek, and the Wall Street Journal. I was getting 80-100 emails a day from people encouraged by the story to be vocal, active, or supportive. All I did was tell my story and seek to live as authentic a life as I could. I guess that made me a hero. I don’t feel like a hero, but if that is what I am, more are needed. Want to be a hero? Tell your story and/or encourage others to tell theirs. You will be a hero . . . at least to me.
This week I had two incidents that shook me a little. At Transgender Michigan’s Pride in the Park I had three different people come up to me and tell me that I was a hero to them. Then yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Thanks again, Julie - The world has long needed a strength like you.” I don’t feel like a hero. What makes others think that? I have reached two tentative conclusions. First, every movement needs leaders who – like it or not – are perceived as heroes. Second, we need - desperately need - more heroes.
What made me a “hero”? It was a little over a year ago when I sat in a rocking chair in our living room with a handgun in my lap. I had composed an email to be sent that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” Then God broke through. I had a lot of friends praying for me during those very dark and difficult days. I believe their prayers saved my life. As I sat wrestling in my mind, I realized I loved my wife and kids (and grandson) too much to end my life. And in that moment I decided to not let hate and discrimination claim another victim. I chose to live and I chose to do all that I can to keep hate and discrimination ruining or ending as many other lives as I could.
So I began to tell me story and Joanne often was able to share her story as well. In God’s providence the story was told and people listened. For over a month I averaged 2-3 media interviews a weekday; including everything from student newspapers and local media to Fox News, Newsweek, and the Wall Street Journal. I was getting 80-100 emails a day from people encouraged by the story to be vocal, active, or supportive. All I did was tell my story and seek to live as authentic a life as I could. I guess that made me a hero. I don’t feel like a hero, but if that is what I am, more are needed. Want to be a hero? Tell your story and/or encourage others to tell theirs. You will be a hero . . . at least to me.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
A Letter
The following letter (with the names removed) was sent to a couple of college friends from a long, long, long time ago. Like many others, they questioned whether the assertion of my rights was the best Christian response. I believe it was and would do it again for some of the reasons that are below (and some others that are more personal). I hope this helps some understand why we did what we did.
March 14, 2007
Dear C & B,
Thanks for your note and your expression of care and prayer. I appreciate both your question and the spirit in which you asked it. Others have had similar questions so I will try my best to help you understand my perspective on the “rights” issue.
I guess if life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are rights – rights given to us by God according to our country’s Christian founding fathers – then I am guilty as charged in asserting my rights. That first right has particular significance to me because the ignorance and hate of society, often especially from Christians, almost caused the end of my life. Because of the university’s decision to, I believed, violate federal and state laws, I became severely depressed at the contract restrictions placed on me. One day I sat with a gun in my lap and actually composed an email that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” In that moment, I decided that instead of taking my life I would stand up to bigotry and discrimination for myself and thousands like me who have no voice. To me “asserting my rights” is on a higher, Godly plane than submitting – not to God – but to a perversion of Christianity that uses Christian language to defend hate, exclusion, and bullying.
As an Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) employer, Spring Arbor University (SAU) willing committed to prescribed standards of non-discrimination. SAU’s EEO statement and statement on their commitment to diversity were even stronger. In filing my EEO complaint I was simply trying to help SAU be an institution of integrity by holding them accountable for commitments they had publicly made. I guess that can also be seen as “asserting my rights” but it is also an issue of corporate integrity and Christian witness. Should Christian organizations be able to get the significant benefits gained by being an EEO employer while ignoring EEO law? Should religious organizations be allowed to discriminate by clothing their bigotry in the robes of Christianity? I don’t think so, so I asserted my rights and filed a complaint. I only did this after having 11 people of Christian maturity pray with me about this. I asked them (some of them university employees and some quite conservative) if they saw any “yellow or red lights” in my intended action. None did and 8 of the 11 said, “You need to do this right away.”
At another level, my actions were for more than just me. There are thousands who share my medical diagnosis and treatment who are unable or unwilling to stand up for their rights. In consequence they often suffer the loss of jobs, family, health, and sometimes life itself. For over a month, I have heard from people all across the world at the rate of 10-12 letters or emails a day saying that my actions give them hope. I have spoken at a number of college and university campuses, averaged 2-3 media interviews a day (print, radio, and TV), and will be testifying before state legislators in April and Congress in May. Joanne and I have consistently seen God’s hand in this and see the actions of Christ for the disenfranchised as a powerful example for us to follow. Two people have said that my actions have given them enough hope to go on with life. The disenfranchised need the voice of others.
I guess if you were to be consistent in arguing against “asserting our rights” one would have to have been opposed to the abolitionists and suffragettes, Martin Luther King, and the modern day advocates of disability rights. Slavery would still exist, women would still be treated like property, Blacks would be still riding in the back of the bus, and the disabled would still be expected to sell pencils on the curbside. Joanne and I have responded to God’s call in our life and, in the process, have grown immeasurably stronger in our relationship to each other and more confident than ever of our faithfulness to His rule in our lives. We believe – in contrast to some in the Church – that Christ died for people like me as well as them.
Even the Apostle Paul asserted his rights (with little hope of success) when he perceived a greater good available. Ultimately we may have little hope for immediate victory (although our discrimination case has reached a mediated settlement with which we are very happy), but do believe it is still worth the effort. At Eastern Michigan University on Monday night, Joanne and I spoke for about 45 minutes and then took questions for nearly an hour. Near the end of that time a student stood up and made a statement instead of asking a question. She said, “You two have changed my life forever. I now have a new definition of love.” You see, as we have been telling our story we have had opportunities to share our love and our faith. Jesus said, “My disciples will be known by their love.” We are excited about sharing that love.
So, if you can keep praying we both will appreciate it. Feel free to keep asking questions. If you want to email me, I will be glad to send you more information. Thank you again for taking the time to reach out and express your concern and care.
All the best.
Your sister in Christ,
Julie Nemecek
March 14, 2007
Dear C & B,
Thanks for your note and your expression of care and prayer. I appreciate both your question and the spirit in which you asked it. Others have had similar questions so I will try my best to help you understand my perspective on the “rights” issue.
I guess if life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are rights – rights given to us by God according to our country’s Christian founding fathers – then I am guilty as charged in asserting my rights. That first right has particular significance to me because the ignorance and hate of society, often especially from Christians, almost caused the end of my life. Because of the university’s decision to, I believed, violate federal and state laws, I became severely depressed at the contract restrictions placed on me. One day I sat with a gun in my lap and actually composed an email that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” In that moment, I decided that instead of taking my life I would stand up to bigotry and discrimination for myself and thousands like me who have no voice. To me “asserting my rights” is on a higher, Godly plane than submitting – not to God – but to a perversion of Christianity that uses Christian language to defend hate, exclusion, and bullying.
As an Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) employer, Spring Arbor University (SAU) willing committed to prescribed standards of non-discrimination. SAU’s EEO statement and statement on their commitment to diversity were even stronger. In filing my EEO complaint I was simply trying to help SAU be an institution of integrity by holding them accountable for commitments they had publicly made. I guess that can also be seen as “asserting my rights” but it is also an issue of corporate integrity and Christian witness. Should Christian organizations be able to get the significant benefits gained by being an EEO employer while ignoring EEO law? Should religious organizations be allowed to discriminate by clothing their bigotry in the robes of Christianity? I don’t think so, so I asserted my rights and filed a complaint. I only did this after having 11 people of Christian maturity pray with me about this. I asked them (some of them university employees and some quite conservative) if they saw any “yellow or red lights” in my intended action. None did and 8 of the 11 said, “You need to do this right away.”
At another level, my actions were for more than just me. There are thousands who share my medical diagnosis and treatment who are unable or unwilling to stand up for their rights. In consequence they often suffer the loss of jobs, family, health, and sometimes life itself. For over a month, I have heard from people all across the world at the rate of 10-12 letters or emails a day saying that my actions give them hope. I have spoken at a number of college and university campuses, averaged 2-3 media interviews a day (print, radio, and TV), and will be testifying before state legislators in April and Congress in May. Joanne and I have consistently seen God’s hand in this and see the actions of Christ for the disenfranchised as a powerful example for us to follow. Two people have said that my actions have given them enough hope to go on with life. The disenfranchised need the voice of others.
I guess if you were to be consistent in arguing against “asserting our rights” one would have to have been opposed to the abolitionists and suffragettes, Martin Luther King, and the modern day advocates of disability rights. Slavery would still exist, women would still be treated like property, Blacks would be still riding in the back of the bus, and the disabled would still be expected to sell pencils on the curbside. Joanne and I have responded to God’s call in our life and, in the process, have grown immeasurably stronger in our relationship to each other and more confident than ever of our faithfulness to His rule in our lives. We believe – in contrast to some in the Church – that Christ died for people like me as well as them.
Even the Apostle Paul asserted his rights (with little hope of success) when he perceived a greater good available. Ultimately we may have little hope for immediate victory (although our discrimination case has reached a mediated settlement with which we are very happy), but do believe it is still worth the effort. At Eastern Michigan University on Monday night, Joanne and I spoke for about 45 minutes and then took questions for nearly an hour. Near the end of that time a student stood up and made a statement instead of asking a question. She said, “You two have changed my life forever. I now have a new definition of love.” You see, as we have been telling our story we have had opportunities to share our love and our faith. Jesus said, “My disciples will be known by their love.” We are excited about sharing that love.
So, if you can keep praying we both will appreciate it. Feel free to keep asking questions. If you want to email me, I will be glad to send you more information. Thank you again for taking the time to reach out and express your concern and care.
All the best.
Your sister in Christ,
Julie Nemecek
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Settlement
After 13+ hours over two days, the university and I have reached a "mutually satisfactory" settlement. Part of the nature of EEOC mediation is that the process and details of settlement cannot be discussed. Joanne and I are grinning and I am hoping to do some consulting and speaking (hopefully eventually for income), write a book, and do ongoing lobbying for changes in the laws and societal responses related to transgender people. I may also teach some. Keep us in your prayers as we continue to seek to be faithful to God's leading in our lives.
Joanne and I met with an auditorium full of Eastern Michigan University students (mostly) and some faculty last night. We told our story for about 45 minutes and then answered questions for nearly an hour. Near the end of the time, a student stood up and made a statement instead of asking a question. She said, "The two of you have changed my life forever. I now have a new definition of love." Moments like that make the occasional hassles all worthwhile.
Joanne and I met with an auditorium full of Eastern Michigan University students (mostly) and some faculty last night. We told our story for about 45 minutes and then answered questions for nearly an hour. Near the end of the time, a student stood up and made a statement instead of asking a question. She said, "The two of you have changed my life forever. I now have a new definition of love." Moments like that make the occasional hassles all worthwhile.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
There's a Lot of Mis-information Out There
I have seen a lot of posts on the blogosphere that are factually incorrect on the basics of my Father's situation. Sometimes their whole logic falls apart. I think many of these are honest mistakes, or the result of the knee-jerk reaction of bloggers to emote about a story, even if they haven't read it all correctly. I ran across one today that made me laugh. It was just another example of not getting all the facts straight.
From the blog "Cheat Seeking Missiles" which ironically claims "precision guided logic bombs to destroy biased purveyors of 'Dem'entia" comes this quote (emphasis added, spelling as in the original):
From the blog "Cheat Seeking Missiles" which ironically claims "precision guided logic bombs to destroy biased purveyors of 'Dem'entia" comes this quote (emphasis added, spelling as in the original):
The college cited a community covenant all employees must sign, affirming biblical principles and tht they will "model Christian character to our students." They are not required to be Free Methodists, according to U prez Gayle D. Beebe, but, she (and she is a she) told the WSJ, "It's an expectation they will be acting out the Christian faith both in the way they teach and in the way they live."I have it on good sources that Dr. Gayle D. Beebe is in fact, a man (or at least he presents as one).
Mediation Update
My Father spent 7 1/2 hours in mediation today with his lawyer and a team of lawyers from Spring Arbor University. Mediation is to resume on Monday. Most of the other goings on of the mediation are kept in confidence (that's how these things go).
Monday, March 5, 2007
Rules and Relationships
The story of the Bible is one of God saving us from ourselves. It is like a Shakespearean tragedy with a twist. We are the tragically flawed, but the perfect character is the one that makes the sacrifice. The most phenomenal part about the whole thing, is that he does this to save us. More than anything God desires a relationship with us, and that we have good relationships with one another. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength; and love your neighbor as yourself. It is a tragedy to see the Bible taken as "God's instruction book" and used to destroy relationships.
The first sin of mankind was giving in on a temptation to a false promise: To know good and evil; to be like God. The consequence was broken relationships with God, and lives filled with misery. Man used his newfound "wisdom" to try to judge God and his wife (don't try this at home). God gave us 10 simple rules, but we couldn't even follow those. More rules followed, and more transgressions. By the time Jesus arrives on the scene, we think we have it all figured out. Our "holiest" men, the Pharisees, tell the Son of God how it really is. Jesus breaks a number of their silly rules, and relates to people in amazing ways. Not only that, he performs miracles to bring the outcasts back in to society, and heals the relationally broken, even raising the dead.
Jesus chose the twelve brightest scribes to be his disciples, right? No. He assembled a motley crew of folks who would be with him wherever he went. 2000 years later, we have the Bible in hundreds of different languages. What reason do we have to think we can understand good and evil any better? We do have the Holy Spirit. The wonderful thing about the Holy Spirit is it guides us in our own lives, and helps us know right from wrong. It is also something we can share with others in community, but the Spirit doesn't tell us when others do wrong.
The tragedy of The Church is that it spends so much effort in trying to figure out good and evil, and not enough time living in relationships with real people. The rules in the Bible are there for a good reason. They're meant to help us in our relationships with one another and with God. They tell us how to relate. They are perfect. We, however, are not. If we are honest with ourselves, there are a lot of "rules" in the Bible that we don't understand. There are probably even more rules that we think we understand. Maybe it's time to let go of that temptation to know all good and evil. We have the Spirit to guide us on our way, and maybe that's enough. Maybe it's enough to know what is good and evil for me to do.
The situation with my father and Spring Arbor University is just one more example of a broken situation, a broken relationship. Can I point a finger at one side or the other and say "you've done this?" It would be only too easy to blame the serpent for all our tragic flaws. It isn't easy (is it possible?) to understand what God's divine law really says here (and only slightly easier to understand U.S. Law). What we can do is focus on doing something positive, mending our own broken relationships.
God, I pray that you would be with my parents, Spring Arbor University, and lawyers for both parties as they attempt to mediate tomorrow. Let your Holy Spirit guide the situation and work in these relationships. I pray that in the middle of this mess, You would receive the glory, and that Your will would be done. Amen.
The first sin of mankind was giving in on a temptation to a false promise: To know good and evil; to be like God. The consequence was broken relationships with God, and lives filled with misery. Man used his newfound "wisdom" to try to judge God and his wife (don't try this at home). God gave us 10 simple rules, but we couldn't even follow those. More rules followed, and more transgressions. By the time Jesus arrives on the scene, we think we have it all figured out. Our "holiest" men, the Pharisees, tell the Son of God how it really is. Jesus breaks a number of their silly rules, and relates to people in amazing ways. Not only that, he performs miracles to bring the outcasts back in to society, and heals the relationally broken, even raising the dead.
Jesus chose the twelve brightest scribes to be his disciples, right? No. He assembled a motley crew of folks who would be with him wherever he went. 2000 years later, we have the Bible in hundreds of different languages. What reason do we have to think we can understand good and evil any better? We do have the Holy Spirit. The wonderful thing about the Holy Spirit is it guides us in our own lives, and helps us know right from wrong. It is also something we can share with others in community, but the Spirit doesn't tell us when others do wrong.
The tragedy of The Church is that it spends so much effort in trying to figure out good and evil, and not enough time living in relationships with real people. The rules in the Bible are there for a good reason. They're meant to help us in our relationships with one another and with God. They tell us how to relate. They are perfect. We, however, are not. If we are honest with ourselves, there are a lot of "rules" in the Bible that we don't understand. There are probably even more rules that we think we understand. Maybe it's time to let go of that temptation to know all good and evil. We have the Spirit to guide us on our way, and maybe that's enough. Maybe it's enough to know what is good and evil for me to do.
The situation with my father and Spring Arbor University is just one more example of a broken situation, a broken relationship. Can I point a finger at one side or the other and say "you've done this?" It would be only too easy to blame the serpent for all our tragic flaws. It isn't easy (is it possible?) to understand what God's divine law really says here (and only slightly easier to understand U.S. Law). What we can do is focus on doing something positive, mending our own broken relationships.
God, I pray that you would be with my parents, Spring Arbor University, and lawyers for both parties as they attempt to mediate tomorrow. Let your Holy Spirit guide the situation and work in these relationships. I pray that in the middle of this mess, You would receive the glory, and that Your will would be done. Amen.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Saturday Feature: In TG Shoes - Bathrooms
This Saturday, I thought I'd bring up something that for most of us, is a pretty normal everyday thing, but for someone who is transgendered, it must be intimidating. No matter which restroom you use (etiquette says to use the one that matches how you present yourself), it could lead to a confrontation. Sometimes, it could even lead to violence against the transgendered individual. Safe2pee.org tries to offer a resource for transgendered persons in public places. They are attempting to catalog bathrooms that are either single stall with a locking door, or omni-sex. I'm not sure it would make a very good resource for transgendered people (those outside of San Francisco at least) but it highlights the issue in a way that makes you think about it. Also, it's a Google maps mashup, so if you know up TG friendly bathrooms in your area, you can add them to the list.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Audio Clip
Michigan Equality has an audio version of my story (with a picture) for those that may be interested. http://www.michiganequality.org/ARTICLES/ComingOutStories/nemecek.shtml
Sunday, February 25, 2007
The Matter of Choice
I am DCNemesis' mom. I am the spouse of Julie for the last 34+years. I have been supportive of the transition and have had my own journey. I wrote the following essay to share some of my personal observations and thoughts about Julie's "Choice".
The Matter of Choice
There was a comment about choice in reference to being transgender. I have reflected about that over the last few days. Some thoughts came to me that helped me clarify how this might be seen as a choice to some.
Being transgender is not a choice. A growing body of evidence is showing that the condition is biological. A portion of the hypothalamus is sized differently in the transgender, matching their perceived gender. Brain wave studies show that the brain waves of the individual match their perceived gender.
I believe that most people have difficulty accepting the treatment. They see the individual making a choice to receive treatment. Yes, I would agree with that. Some individuals, who are transsexual, for a variety of reasons, decide not to pursue treatment. This comes at a tremendous cost emotionally and physically.
Let’s look at an example that is a choice but is much less emotionally charged. A person has pain, very bad pain, let’s say a headache. The pain can be dehabilitating causing an individual to lose work time and even at times go to bed. If available most people seek a remedy to get rid of the pain. They chose to take a pill to eradicate it. If the headaches are recurring often, they seek medical intervention. Some will go to great lengths to be pain free. I think we all can identify with the desire to subdue pain. But overall, there is a choice, try to live with the pain and possibly suffer some consequences or try to take something to get rid of the pain.
A transgender person lives with a different kind of pain. The pain comes from the disconnect between the body and mind. They are sending opposing messages. This causes stress. Sometimes the pain is so great that suicide seems the only way to come to a sense of peace (that is a horrible choice). Once a person discovers the reason for their feelings and hears there is something that can help them decrease the pain, they desire to follow that medical advice.
In the past, several methods were devised to try to correct the mind and make it conform to the body but they were unsuccessful and often harmful to the individual. The only method that has been show to help thus far is conforming the body to the mind.
How can we deny another person from seeking relief to their pain?
What are we feeling as individuals who interact with someone who is transgender? Are we uncomfortable because we can not put ourselves in their place? Do we misunderstand scripture and so impose our understanding upon the other person? Do we feel that is must be some kind of perversion? Are we embarrassed to be around them? Does their presentation in a gender conforming way cause us to realign our thinking about them?
I think that it is most important to delve deeply within ourselves and try to discover the reason for the objection. For myself, I had to realize that it was fear. I feared what other people would think. I feared rejection and loss of friends. I have, over time learned to face my fears and chose to love. The discomfort I felt was nothing in comparison to the deep, overwhelming pain of my spouse. I have come to realize that his “choice” to be Julie was necessary and life preserving.
Please consider how choice is an important part of life and necessary to preserve life and dignity.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Saturday Feature: In TG Shoes
I figured I'd make a new regular Saturday Feature for the blog's regular readers. I want to provide something to think about that might help understand some of what it must be like to be Transgendered. I'll be the first to admit that there is a lot about Gender Identity Disorder and TGness that I don't understand, and some that I don't think I can. It is hard to imagine what it might be like to be someone completely different in your head than you are on the outside.
However, if we can try to understand a little bit about how it might feel, it is incumbent upon us to do. Jesus called us to weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice. This kind of compassion starts with empathy.
This week, I thought I'd turn the tables around a bit. Instead of talking about my Dad, who is . . . "gracefully advanced" . . . I found a video on YouTube that talks about Transgendered children, and it is mainly addressed to their families. I don't know if I would take all of the recommendations that this organization suggests for raising TG children, but it is a very difficult to imagine how I would deal with it.
So, I can't say I'd fully endorse the message of this video, but it should at least make you think and feel. Also, you'll find that alot of the issues for TG children are the same as they are for adults. Enjoy the video.
However, if we can try to understand a little bit about how it might feel, it is incumbent upon us to do. Jesus called us to weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice. This kind of compassion starts with empathy.
This week, I thought I'd turn the tables around a bit. Instead of talking about my Dad, who is . . . "gracefully advanced" . . . I found a video on YouTube that talks about Transgendered children, and it is mainly addressed to their families. I don't know if I would take all of the recommendations that this organization suggests for raising TG children, but it is a very difficult to imagine how I would deal with it.
So, I can't say I'd fully endorse the message of this video, but it should at least make you think and feel. Also, you'll find that alot of the issues for TG children are the same as they are for adults. Enjoy the video.
Media Available for "Normal" Sermon
In the post below called "Let's Not Forget About 'Normal,' " I mentioned a sermon by my pastor. The audio and video will be available online for the next week or so. After that, you should be able to find them via the theaterchurch.com podcast (both audio and video).
Friday, February 23, 2007
What's in a name?
What’s in a name? Not much, I guess. But then again maybe quite a bit.
As of 11:35 this morning (EST) my legal name changed from John David Nemecek to Julie Marie Nemecek. Nothing fantastic as names go. Joanne and I did celebrate though. We went out to lunch at our favorite restaurant (“Welcome ladies”, the hostess said) and we invited the reporter who broke our story to join us. (He had shown up for the 5-minute hearing). We talked about his farming, our media attention, and what we would be doing next. I told him I had been invited to become part of the Women’s Caucus for the Jackson County Democratic Party! I responded to his question about our plans for the rest of the day by saying that we would be going to the Secretary of State office to change my driver’s license name and picture as soon as lunch was over.
One motivation for my name change was to bring some congruency to my life in those moments when I need to present ID or a debit or credit card or a passport. It can be more than problematic when the name doesn’t match the presentation.
“Julie” was chosen because that is what we would have called any girl we would have had, its derivation is similar to “John”, and because it is the name of one of my favorite – very beautiful – cousins. “Marie” was added because I like how it sounds with “Julie”, it has good religious connotations, and it was the name of the first playmate I can remember. Some transsexuals change their last name to bury their past. I kept “Nemecek” because it is meaningful to me. I am not ashamed of my past and value the heritage connected with my name. I treasure my family connections and am proud to be a “Nemecek”. Besides, with my picture plastered all over the media, I can’t hide anyways! Silly reasons, maybe, but all meaningful to me.
So maybe it’s not the name that is important but what is meaningful behind the name. Being called “Julie” is one of the most beautiful sounds on the planet to me. It affirms me for who I am and how I see myself. Not that big of a deal for most people, but for people like me it gives hope and meaning to a life where who you are was once formerly denied. Hearing my chosen name is about personhood, living, and joy. God knows us by name and I hear him calling, “Julie.”
Maybe Shakespeare was right about a rose by any other name still smelling the same but I think the rose would still prefer “Rose” to “weed”. So maybe “Julie” is not that big of a deal to others, but it is a sweet sound to the one called
Julie
P.S.
Joanne says she never saw me smile as much as I did for my new driver's license photo. :)
As of 11:35 this morning (EST) my legal name changed from John David Nemecek to Julie Marie Nemecek. Nothing fantastic as names go. Joanne and I did celebrate though. We went out to lunch at our favorite restaurant (“Welcome ladies”, the hostess said) and we invited the reporter who broke our story to join us. (He had shown up for the 5-minute hearing). We talked about his farming, our media attention, and what we would be doing next. I told him I had been invited to become part of the Women’s Caucus for the Jackson County Democratic Party! I responded to his question about our plans for the rest of the day by saying that we would be going to the Secretary of State office to change my driver’s license name and picture as soon as lunch was over.
One motivation for my name change was to bring some congruency to my life in those moments when I need to present ID or a debit or credit card or a passport. It can be more than problematic when the name doesn’t match the presentation.
“Julie” was chosen because that is what we would have called any girl we would have had, its derivation is similar to “John”, and because it is the name of one of my favorite – very beautiful – cousins. “Marie” was added because I like how it sounds with “Julie”, it has good religious connotations, and it was the name of the first playmate I can remember. Some transsexuals change their last name to bury their past. I kept “Nemecek” because it is meaningful to me. I am not ashamed of my past and value the heritage connected with my name. I treasure my family connections and am proud to be a “Nemecek”. Besides, with my picture plastered all over the media, I can’t hide anyways! Silly reasons, maybe, but all meaningful to me.
So maybe it’s not the name that is important but what is meaningful behind the name. Being called “Julie” is one of the most beautiful sounds on the planet to me. It affirms me for who I am and how I see myself. Not that big of a deal for most people, but for people like me it gives hope and meaning to a life where who you are was once formerly denied. Hearing my chosen name is about personhood, living, and joy. God knows us by name and I hear him calling, “Julie.”
Maybe Shakespeare was right about a rose by any other name still smelling the same but I think the rose would still prefer “Rose” to “weed”. So maybe “Julie” is not that big of a deal to others, but it is a sweet sound to the one called
Julie
P.S.
Joanne says she never saw me smile as much as I did for my new driver's license photo. :)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Media and Mediation
I'm wondering what effect media coverage of this will affect the mediation session that is less than two weeks away. The story refuses to die down (recently hitting Internet mega-site BoingBoing). Will SAU be too irate with the coverage to offer any deal? I could also see SAU being compelled to seek a quicker solution, before the story gets any bigger. Less than two weeks remain until the mediation, but for today's media, that is like an eternity. I'm interested to know what others think on this.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Is Spring Arbor More Extreme than Pat Robertson?
Pat Robertson is often quoted in the media as an "extremist" Christian for some of the things he says. Personally, I don't know much about what he says except the stuff that gets trotted out by the media. So, I was quite suprised to find something on the internet suggesting that Pat Robertson wasn't against gender reassignment surgery (though he is not for it either). Here is a question and answer from the 700 Club's website (emphasis added):
"Q: I have a friend that I have known since we were kids who has considered getting a sex change. Is it wrong and a sin for a person to change their sex from being male to female or from being female to male?
A: Such an option did not exist in the Bible. Nobody could ever do such a thing. It is very radical surgery. They literally change organs from male to female and vice versa. It’s pretty traumatic. And on top of that, they shoot the person full of the various hormones, either estrogen or testosterone, to make it happen. Is it a sin? I can’t say it’s a sin, because I don’t have any biblical authority one way or the other. But the Bible says wherever you were when you came to the Lord, you stay that way. I think that probably would be closer to it, what the apostle Paul said. But I can’t pontificate on this one, but I do feel sorry for those that are in that condition."
I'm not sure what verse he is trying to bring up at the end there, but I found it interesting that Pat Robertson would have a fairly moderate stance on this issue. It seems he made an effort to research the issue before he answered, and came to a very different position than Spring Arbor's so-called Biblical position.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Let's Not Forget About "Normal"
I attend National Community Church in Washington DC. The church is starting a series entitled "Battle of the Sexes" talking about sex and gender roles. My church is a little unique. They have some tremendously dedicated people working for them, and a commitment to reaching people for God "in the middle of the marketplace." What this looks like in practice is seven services in three locations, all Metro-accessible. Two of the services are on Saturday night at the Church-operated coffee house on Capitol Hill, Ebenezer's ("Coffee with a Cause"). So, I attended tonight's service not sure what to expect. Obviously, I've been thinking a lot about sex and gender roles recently, and I was someone wondering if I might come away a bit upset with something the pastor had to say tonight.
I knew ahead of time from checking the Pastor's latest blog post that the sermon would focus on Genesis 1:27 (copycat ;-) ). In a message designed to set the tone for the coming series, Pastor Mark scoped the issue pretty well. He acknowledge off the bat that there is a continuum when it relates to gender, but that he would be focusing mainly on norms and tendencies. With occasional strange facts from biology and neurology thrown in ("women have 40% more neurons in the corpus callosum than men"), the sermon enumerated a lot of the differences between men and women as a population. It ended with a call to be better men or women after God's own heart. It was a sermon for general consumption, so the statistical outliers like transgendered, hermaphrodites, etc. were ignored. That's okay by me. It was refreshing to be reminded of, and focus on the mean in the male bell curve and female bell curve.
Of course, it does leave me to wonder, will the church ever talk about the "outliers" if not forced to do so by circumstances? I understand it is a tricky thing to talk about, but I'm sure a much more sane conversation could be had in the absence of an immediate conflict. I agree that the church needs to talk about the differences between men and women. We don't talk about that enough, and it does matter. I guess I could say in general, The Church needs to spend more time talking about the issues it talks about least.
If you are interested in hearing the sermon, it should be made available in audio and video form later this week at the church's website.
I learned from taking Abnormal Psych that if you focus too much on abnormalities, everyone seems crazy. Of course, the same can be said of looking only at the statistically normal people. After all, statistically speaking, the average human being has one developed breast and one testicle.
I knew ahead of time from checking the Pastor's latest blog post that the sermon would focus on Genesis 1:27 (copycat ;-) ). In a message designed to set the tone for the coming series, Pastor Mark scoped the issue pretty well. He acknowledge off the bat that there is a continuum when it relates to gender, but that he would be focusing mainly on norms and tendencies. With occasional strange facts from biology and neurology thrown in ("women have 40% more neurons in the corpus callosum than men"), the sermon enumerated a lot of the differences between men and women as a population. It ended with a call to be better men or women after God's own heart. It was a sermon for general consumption, so the statistical outliers like transgendered, hermaphrodites, etc. were ignored. That's okay by me. It was refreshing to be reminded of, and focus on the mean in the male bell curve and female bell curve.
Of course, it does leave me to wonder, will the church ever talk about the "outliers" if not forced to do so by circumstances? I understand it is a tricky thing to talk about, but I'm sure a much more sane conversation could be had in the absence of an immediate conflict. I agree that the church needs to talk about the differences between men and women. We don't talk about that enough, and it does matter. I guess I could say in general, The Church needs to spend more time talking about the issues it talks about least.
If you are interested in hearing the sermon, it should be made available in audio and video form later this week at the church's website.
I learned from taking Abnormal Psych that if you focus too much on abnormalities, everyone seems crazy. Of course, the same can be said of looking only at the statistically normal people. After all, statistically speaking, the average human being has one developed breast and one testicle.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
A Bit of Levity - What's In a Name?
I feel like this blog could use a bit of levity amidst the theological discussion, legal stuff, and small town politics. So, here's the deal: My wife and I are expecting a baby in September. While we can deal with the confusion of my Dad's identity, we don't expect our little one to get it right away. To help avoid confusion, we thought we'd come up with some name other than "grandma" or "grandpa" that our child can call Julie. My Dad isn't quite like a normal grandma, and certainly won't be a normal grandpa (though that is the position Julie will occupy on the family tree). So, I'm thinking that a different name might help to solve the semanitic issues. The only problem is, I have no idea what a good name might be. So, I'm throwing it open to you guys. Please give your best ideas in the comments.
What Gender or Sex is God?
As the media coverage lessens, I wanted to focus a little bit more on some issues of theology as it relates to transgenderedness. I'll look at some of the issues that surround the topic, and as much as possible present all the ways the verse might be interpreted, not just those that would support one side over the other. If you have a verse or issue you'd like me to look at, leave it in the comments section and I'll try to get to it.
I thought I'd start with the question "What Gender or Sex is God?" The question is relevant as we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27); called to be transformed into the likeness of His Son (Romans 8:29); and are being transformed into an image of His glory (2 Corinthians 3:18). First off, it is possible that Genesis 1:27 tells us nothing about God, as we do not know to what degree we are made in His image. We could be made in his image in terms of character, but not in our sexual or "engendered" natures of male and female. I would have some real problems accepting this view, as verse 27 itself refers specifically to male and female forms. Also, some specific verses (like 1 Corinthians 11:7) seem to draw a specific connection between sex and the image of God (although I'll be the first to admit that verse is difficult to interpret).
Excluding the possibility that our sexual natures are something not related to the image of God, we are left with two interpretations. The first (I'll call it the "Traditional" interpretation) is that God is masculine. The second possibility is that God transcends descriptions of sex and gender. The first interpretation is better supported if the Hebrew "Adam" in Genesis 1:27 is translated as "man" not as "mankind" (different translations treat this word differently). This interpretation would consider man as made in the image of a masculine God, and woman made in the image of man (not as an image of God in her own right). This also seems to be the line of logic suggested in 1 Corinthians 11. Of course, if you take this viewpoint on scripture, a number of dictums naturally come with it, such as male headship in the church. Based on the very few female clergy in the Free Methodist Church, this may very well be the position they take. Of course, then the question of "what does it mean to make ourselves transform or conform to the image of God?" becomes quite problematic. Are women supposed to be more like men to better reflect the image of God? I have heard nobody who suggests such a thing, but it seems to follow from the above logic. That is unless of course, you mean that women are supposed to be like God only in character and are doomed to inhabit a body which is not made in God's image.
The second position is that God transcends gender. If you are asking why I don't include the possibility that God is strictly feminine, it is simply that it goes against too much of what you find in Scripture to really be supported ("Our Father, who art in heaven . . . " etc.). Oddly enough, 1 Corinthians 11, which I said above seems to take the logic of the first position, also contains things which might support the second (Hey, I warned you it is hard to interpret). 1 Corinthians 11 describes God as the originator of all things, in the same way that man "originates" from (is born of) a woman. God certainly has many attributes that we might call more feminine that masculine, such as compassion and grace. If you take this view, conforming or transforming to the image of God is something that people may pursue with their whole being, whether masculine or feminine, male or female.
I'm sure some stumble over the fact that Genesis 1:27 says God created them "male and female" and that anywhere "in between" is anathema. To that, I'd say, this was a verse referring to before the fall, and now we have very hard to dispute middle grounds, like true hemaphrodism. I don't know anyone who would claim that Christ didn't die for hemaphrodites, though I'm sure there are some extremists out there. If transgenderism, is "hemaphrodism of the brain" can we not accept it at the worst as a result of the fall? At best, it might be an expression of the image of God.
I thought I'd start with the question "What Gender or Sex is God?" The question is relevant as we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27); called to be transformed into the likeness of His Son (Romans 8:29); and are being transformed into an image of His glory (2 Corinthians 3:18). First off, it is possible that Genesis 1:27 tells us nothing about God, as we do not know to what degree we are made in His image. We could be made in his image in terms of character, but not in our sexual or "engendered" natures of male and female. I would have some real problems accepting this view, as verse 27 itself refers specifically to male and female forms. Also, some specific verses (like 1 Corinthians 11:7) seem to draw a specific connection between sex and the image of God (although I'll be the first to admit that verse is difficult to interpret).
Excluding the possibility that our sexual natures are something not related to the image of God, we are left with two interpretations. The first (I'll call it the "Traditional" interpretation) is that God is masculine. The second possibility is that God transcends descriptions of sex and gender. The first interpretation is better supported if the Hebrew "Adam" in Genesis 1:27 is translated as "man" not as "mankind" (different translations treat this word differently). This interpretation would consider man as made in the image of a masculine God, and woman made in the image of man (not as an image of God in her own right). This also seems to be the line of logic suggested in 1 Corinthians 11. Of course, if you take this viewpoint on scripture, a number of dictums naturally come with it, such as male headship in the church. Based on the very few female clergy in the Free Methodist Church, this may very well be the position they take. Of course, then the question of "what does it mean to make ourselves transform or conform to the image of God?" becomes quite problematic. Are women supposed to be more like men to better reflect the image of God? I have heard nobody who suggests such a thing, but it seems to follow from the above logic. That is unless of course, you mean that women are supposed to be like God only in character and are doomed to inhabit a body which is not made in God's image.
The second position is that God transcends gender. If you are asking why I don't include the possibility that God is strictly feminine, it is simply that it goes against too much of what you find in Scripture to really be supported ("Our Father, who art in heaven . . . " etc.). Oddly enough, 1 Corinthians 11, which I said above seems to take the logic of the first position, also contains things which might support the second (Hey, I warned you it is hard to interpret). 1 Corinthians 11 describes God as the originator of all things, in the same way that man "originates" from (is born of) a woman. God certainly has many attributes that we might call more feminine that masculine, such as compassion and grace. If you take this view, conforming or transforming to the image of God is something that people may pursue with their whole being, whether masculine or feminine, male or female.
I'm sure some stumble over the fact that Genesis 1:27 says God created them "male and female" and that anywhere "in between" is anathema. To that, I'd say, this was a verse referring to before the fall, and now we have very hard to dispute middle grounds, like true hemaphrodism. I don't know anyone who would claim that Christ didn't die for hemaphrodites, though I'm sure there are some extremists out there. If transgenderism, is "hemaphrodism of the brain" can we not accept it at the worst as a result of the fall? At best, it might be an expression of the image of God.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Feb 12 Statement
The following is the text of my remarks at the student-initiated rally in support of me.
Statement from Rev. Dr. Julie Nemecek
Spring Arbor, Michigan - February 12, 2007
It is very appropriate that we are gathering on Lincoln’s birthday to speak against oppression and discrimination. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of the brave students, faculty, and friends who have taken the time to join with me this morning in standing against fear. There is a heavy blanket of fear that smothers this campus. There are over 145 members of a group called “We Support Julie Marie Nemecek”. Many of the Spring Arbor University students in that number are not here this morning for fear of reprisals. Many faculty members and staff are not here for fear of losing their job for exercising their first amendment right of free speech. I believe that the best antidote for fear is truth. The Apostle Paul says, “God has not given us a spirit of fear.” Someone said, “Courage is realizing that there is something more important than your fears.” Thank you for your courage. We will not let intimidating fear – whether born from prejudice or ignorance – defeat the truth.
Truth. I have done nothing wrong in telling the university of my recognized medical diagnosis and the absolute, life-saving necessity of adhering to the prescribed standards of care.
Truth. I support the university’s statement of faith.
Truth. In the classroom, the university teaches an affirmative understanding of my diagnosis and treatment at both the undergraduate and graduate levels.
Truth. There is no sin in living in joyful celebration for how God has made you. In the words of the Psalmist, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” by a God who knew me – and who I would become – from the womb.
Truth. I love you all for being here.
I want to conclude with a few lines from Spring Arbor University’s statement on their commitment to diversity:
“Valuing the dignity of every human being is part of the historic legacy of our founding denomination.” . . . “Jesus Christ is the perspective for our learning, and through Him, we are called to move beyond mere tolerance of each other to genuine acceptance and mutually transformative learning.” . . . “Therefore, we will seek ways to invite and welcome diversity into our community.”
Let’s pray. Father God, help us to live the love you have called us to live, both in loving you and loving all you have created. Deliver us from fear. Bring your peace to this place and let justice roll down like a mighty river. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
Statement from Rev. Dr. Julie Nemecek
Spring Arbor, Michigan - February 12, 2007
It is very appropriate that we are gathering on Lincoln’s birthday to speak against oppression and discrimination. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of the brave students, faculty, and friends who have taken the time to join with me this morning in standing against fear. There is a heavy blanket of fear that smothers this campus. There are over 145 members of a group called “We Support Julie Marie Nemecek”. Many of the Spring Arbor University students in that number are not here this morning for fear of reprisals. Many faculty members and staff are not here for fear of losing their job for exercising their first amendment right of free speech. I believe that the best antidote for fear is truth. The Apostle Paul says, “God has not given us a spirit of fear.” Someone said, “Courage is realizing that there is something more important than your fears.” Thank you for your courage. We will not let intimidating fear – whether born from prejudice or ignorance – defeat the truth.
Truth. I have done nothing wrong in telling the university of my recognized medical diagnosis and the absolute, life-saving necessity of adhering to the prescribed standards of care.
Truth. I support the university’s statement of faith.
Truth. In the classroom, the university teaches an affirmative understanding of my diagnosis and treatment at both the undergraduate and graduate levels.
Truth. There is no sin in living in joyful celebration for how God has made you. In the words of the Psalmist, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” by a God who knew me – and who I would become – from the womb.
Truth. I love you all for being here.
I want to conclude with a few lines from Spring Arbor University’s statement on their commitment to diversity:
“Valuing the dignity of every human being is part of the historic legacy of our founding denomination.” . . . “Jesus Christ is the perspective for our learning, and through Him, we are called to move beyond mere tolerance of each other to genuine acceptance and mutually transformative learning.” . . . “Therefore, we will seek ways to invite and welcome diversity into our community.”
Let’s pray. Father God, help us to live the love you have called us to live, both in loving you and loving all you have created. Deliver us from fear. Bring your peace to this place and let justice roll down like a mighty river. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
Some Responses to Media Coverage
A number of articles have followed a wrong thread in an early AP article which suggested that I was showing up as a woman on SAU's campus in 2005. Other than my long nails and modest make-up, I have not been on SAU's campus as me. At their insistence I have cross-dressed (bearing false witness) and appeared as John.
I was surprised and deeply disappointed in Rev. Ramundo's omniscient declaration (2/13 article in the Jackson Citizen Patriot) on behalf of the entire church concerning my "sin", especially since he knows better. I met with Rev. Ramundo to discuss some earlier false gossip about me that was attributed to him. He apologized and indicated that he was "misquoted". He never called my need to follow the prescribed medical treatment for my medical diagnosis a sin. In fact, he was suprised when I told him that the Free Methodist Book of Discipline (which despite Rev. Ramundo's proclamations is the official voice of the church) talked about gender identity issues. In section A/331.5 it calls gender identity issues an "ethical dilemma: along with such things as "allocation of finite resources, organ transplantation, end-of-life concerns". Nowhere does the Free Methodist Book of Discipline identify my medical diagnosis or treatment as sin. Rev. Ramundo knew all of this, but decided to portray his own prejudice as the teaching of the church. For shame.
I need to correct Spring Arbor University's characterization of me as having escalated the situation. I did file an EEO complaint, but that came after the university suggested that wearing a university T-shirt to the store or golfing with SAU friends could be considered contract violations; an escalation will beyond the already clearly illegal conditions of my contract. To date, the university has still refused to identify the "Biblical principles" I have supposedly violated. I remain in full support of SAU's statement of faith.
Finally, Pastor Leo Cummings' letter to the editor (Jackson Citizen Patriot 2/13) is helpful. A rational, loving dialogue on the Bible and medical science might be helpful. It would have saved the life of Galileo, helped avoid slavery, and saved the lives of many women in Salem. Is our view of the authority of the Bible so fragile that we must react defensively to scientific truths that question our long-held beliefs? I don't think the Bible will be proven wrong, but our beliefs about what the Bible teaches have many times been shown to be in error. Most churches are now willing to acknowledge that the Bible doesn't teach that the earth is flat. Some may still be debating the fact.
I was surprised and deeply disappointed in Rev. Ramundo's omniscient declaration (2/13 article in the Jackson Citizen Patriot) on behalf of the entire church concerning my "sin", especially since he knows better. I met with Rev. Ramundo to discuss some earlier false gossip about me that was attributed to him. He apologized and indicated that he was "misquoted". He never called my need to follow the prescribed medical treatment for my medical diagnosis a sin. In fact, he was suprised when I told him that the Free Methodist Book of Discipline (which despite Rev. Ramundo's proclamations is the official voice of the church) talked about gender identity issues. In section A/331.5 it calls gender identity issues an "ethical dilemma: along with such things as "allocation of finite resources, organ transplantation, end-of-life concerns". Nowhere does the Free Methodist Book of Discipline identify my medical diagnosis or treatment as sin. Rev. Ramundo knew all of this, but decided to portray his own prejudice as the teaching of the church. For shame.
I need to correct Spring Arbor University's characterization of me as having escalated the situation. I did file an EEO complaint, but that came after the university suggested that wearing a university T-shirt to the store or golfing with SAU friends could be considered contract violations; an escalation will beyond the already clearly illegal conditions of my contract. To date, the university has still refused to identify the "Biblical principles" I have supposedly violated. I remain in full support of SAU's statement of faith.
Finally, Pastor Leo Cummings' letter to the editor (Jackson Citizen Patriot 2/13) is helpful. A rational, loving dialogue on the Bible and medical science might be helpful. It would have saved the life of Galileo, helped avoid slavery, and saved the lives of many women in Salem. Is our view of the authority of the Bible so fragile that we must react defensively to scientific truths that question our long-held beliefs? I don't think the Bible will be proven wrong, but our beliefs about what the Bible teaches have many times been shown to be in error. Most churches are now willing to acknowledge that the Bible doesn't teach that the earth is flat. Some may still be debating the fact.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Can Any Good Come of This?
The title above is my attempt to paraphrase a number of critics who think my dad should just "pack it in and find a new job." I responded earlier today to someone expressing similar sentiment. Right after replying, I found an e-mail in my inbox from a pastor who is close to what is going on with my father. I can't say whether he'd support my father or SAU (possibly neither), but here is what he had to say:
Last week I sent a letter to my people, explaining the situation and my response in detail. Yesterday we spent the day dealing with this issue as a congregation. In the morning service, I used my own experience to explain our Christian responsibility to love those who are hurting. I wrestled with God over this message the whole week. By Saturday night I was defeated, but I didn't have time to write the sermon. So, I had to preach without much preparation. I think I broke nearly every rule of preaching. However, it was clear that God was moving in our hearts. I confessed my own failure and anger. I pleaded with the people to learn from my sin and love instead of hate. I took a risk and put myself out there to be beaten and bruised. I was overwhelmed to see the congregation respond with one heart. Instead of criticism, anger or pain, they loved. There was confession, and hugging and a sincere desire to face our fears and love others. Many, including myself, were afraid this news would divide the church. Instead, we have been revived. One person said this would not have happened years ago. It was a refreshing and healing morning.
In the evening we had a short meeting, but I had announced that anyone who had questions could come after the meeting. I promised to stay until every question was answered. We talked and faced some hard issues together. We examined God's word and we expressed our true selves -- no more Sunday masks. After two hours, everyone had an expression of awe. The word "wow" was heard throughout the building. People stayed after and talked, cried, and hugged. One young lady said "I don't ever want to leave here no matter what happens."
This is just one instance of God using this situation to change people in a positive way. I'm inspired by this pastor's courage to face the situation with brutal honesty and integrity.
A few other points to make regarding the titular question:
1. God decides what happens in the future, we don't. As Romans 8:28 says: "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to {His} purpose." Claiming that this situation will bring terrible things to SAU, or "the body of Christ" flies in the face of God's promise. Be careful of underestimating God's power.
2. You can only live your calling. The actions of others may be hard to understand, and even seem detrimental, but it is God who takes our sacrifices and makes them good.
3. If you find yourself in a situation that you can't find any good in, do what you can to make some. Jesus raised the dead. He turned funerals into joyful celebrations. In the Old Testament, Benaiah pursued a lion into a snowy pit and killed it. How's that for making a bad situation good?
This is just one instance of God using this situation to change people in a positive way. I'm inspired by this pastor's courage to face the situation with brutal honesty and integrity.
A few other points to make regarding the titular question:
1. God decides what happens in the future, we don't. As Romans 8:28 says: "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to {His} purpose." Claiming that this situation will bring terrible things to SAU, or "the body of Christ" flies in the face of God's promise. Be careful of underestimating God's power.
2. You can only live your calling. The actions of others may be hard to understand, and even seem detrimental, but it is God who takes our sacrifices and makes them good.
3. If you find yourself in a situation that you can't find any good in, do what you can to make some. Jesus raised the dead. He turned funerals into joyful celebrations. In the Old Testament, Benaiah pursued a lion into a snowy pit and killed it. How's that for making a bad situation good?
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Going Public, or Why I Blog
Someone anonymously posted a question that basically said "Why go public with this?" I thought I'd respond with a post, because I'm sure it is a common question. While I can't speak for my father, I know why I am writing this blog, which I think is a related question. This is not the first time a transgendered person has been discriminated against by their employer, and it probably won't be the last. However, if we draw attention to it, people will at least be aware of the issue, and may act to prevent a similar situation where they work. This might happen at a Christian College or University, where they take steps to define where the stand on the issue in advance, so that they might have a BFOQ. Or the issue may cause them to seek to understand more about what it means to be transgendered, and they might put affirmative policies in place. Either way it prevents illegal discrimination. While we can't eliminate these types of situations entirely, we can hope to lessen them.
If you think Spring Arbor University has taken a stance that is incorrect, publicity might help to change their minds. I assume SAU makes decisions like these with some regard for what their supporters (financial and otherwise) might think about the issue. If they have taken a position that is different than what these supporters might wish them to take, the only way for them to hear that is to make the story public. Most of those that care about this situation probably now know about it. If enough contact SAU, they may choose to moderate their stance and be more open to a reasonable mediation (even a reinstatement?), preventing this from having to go to court. Of course, many people will not make up their minds immediately upon hearing about the story. Those open-minded individuals will want to hear from different perspectives. That is what this blog is about: having a discussion.
In revealing this story to the press, some activist groups may try to claim that this story in fact supports their cause. This is what activist groups do. They spin a story and try and use it to further their own cause. Honestly, I think many activists have tried to spin this story to support their cause against the facts at hand. For instance, my father is not gay. We can't stop an activist group from doing what they will with the story, but we can be true to the facts of the case, and state how we view the issue in situations like this. The point of going public is not to rile up activist groups, but to hopefully further understanding and allow open-minded people to decide on the facts. Activist groups are pretty close-minded, so there is really no purpose in trying to have a discussion with them.
The anonymous poster noted that (paraphrasing) "it is easy to make scripture say what you want it to." I agree that there are ways of "proof-texting" for many arguments, but that is far from being a "Biblical stance." Acceptable methods for interpreting scripture will not look at a single verse, but also the verse in relation to other verse which might address the issue. When you look at all the verse that might apply, you may find you still can reach different conclusions. If the Bible does not decide an issue, we as Christians may take different viewpoints, but we should be gracious with those who disagree. There are many things that are "non-essentials" in the Christian faith, and I'd put whether it is acceptable to wear jewelry or not in the same category.
Another side note: I've seen more anonymous commentors then I typically do on other blogs. That's okay. I understand that this is a difficult issue to talk about, and I hope the ability to comment anonymously allows more to participate in this discussion. If possible, though, I'd ask that anonymous commentors use some way of differentiating themselves from the other anonymous commentors, so that we know you're not really all the same person.
If you think Spring Arbor University has taken a stance that is incorrect, publicity might help to change their minds. I assume SAU makes decisions like these with some regard for what their supporters (financial and otherwise) might think about the issue. If they have taken a position that is different than what these supporters might wish them to take, the only way for them to hear that is to make the story public. Most of those that care about this situation probably now know about it. If enough contact SAU, they may choose to moderate their stance and be more open to a reasonable mediation (even a reinstatement?), preventing this from having to go to court. Of course, many people will not make up their minds immediately upon hearing about the story. Those open-minded individuals will want to hear from different perspectives. That is what this blog is about: having a discussion.
In revealing this story to the press, some activist groups may try to claim that this story in fact supports their cause. This is what activist groups do. They spin a story and try and use it to further their own cause. Honestly, I think many activists have tried to spin this story to support their cause against the facts at hand. For instance, my father is not gay. We can't stop an activist group from doing what they will with the story, but we can be true to the facts of the case, and state how we view the issue in situations like this. The point of going public is not to rile up activist groups, but to hopefully further understanding and allow open-minded people to decide on the facts. Activist groups are pretty close-minded, so there is really no purpose in trying to have a discussion with them.
The anonymous poster noted that (paraphrasing) "it is easy to make scripture say what you want it to." I agree that there are ways of "proof-texting" for many arguments, but that is far from being a "Biblical stance." Acceptable methods for interpreting scripture will not look at a single verse, but also the verse in relation to other verse which might address the issue. When you look at all the verse that might apply, you may find you still can reach different conclusions. If the Bible does not decide an issue, we as Christians may take different viewpoints, but we should be gracious with those who disagree. There are many things that are "non-essentials" in the Christian faith, and I'd put whether it is acceptable to wear jewelry or not in the same category.
Another side note: I've seen more anonymous commentors then I typically do on other blogs. That's okay. I understand that this is a difficult issue to talk about, and I hope the ability to comment anonymously allows more to participate in this discussion. If possible, though, I'd ask that anonymous commentors use some way of differentiating themselves from the other anonymous commentors, so that we know you're not really all the same person.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Resolved
The following is the product of something I hardly ever do - New Year's resolutions. I often write just to process my own thoughts and feelings and this started out that way. Then over the next couple of weeks I expanded the resolutions to include the thinking and feeling behind them. I've shared them with some friends who have found them helpful in understanding me and for their own reflection. Here goes:
Resolved:
1. I will live authentically.
When we hear or read the command about not “bearing false witness” we often equate it with the need to avoid telling lies. I think truth telling is only a small part of the command.
Living a lie is also “bearing false witness”. Living authentically includes the positive virtues of openness and transparency – “being real” – but it also means not living a lie. Too often fear about what others might think or how others might act causes us to live the kind of false witness that protects us in the short term but will harm us in the long term. Yes, authenticity may have a cost, but isn’t it better for us and others than living a painful and dishonoring lie?
We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and loved deeply by our heavenly Father for who he has created us to be. Let’s live out his creation of us for His glory in a way that honors our Redeemer. Let’s live full of grace and truth.
2. I will not worry about what others think or say.
Worry is a form of fear; fear about the future. In reality it is fear about what the future might, maybe, possibly, could hold if everything possible goes wrong! In writing to Timothy (Timothy the Fearful?), Paul reminds us that God has not “given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). Those three antidotes to fear and worry are worth treasuring.
If we are living lives of authenticity (resolution #1) we have the power of integrity and a desire for truth to help us overcome worry. Often worry is based on lies Satan wants us to believe or doubts about the power of authentic living. Sometimes our worry comes when others abuse power. I have had the experience of well-intentioned (perhaps) friends with expertise in one area presume that this qualified them to speak with authority about my medical diagnosis and treatment! Trust the power of Him who works within you and not the words of man.
Love is also a good antidote for worry. Whatever the future holds, always remember that, in Christ, you are loved with a Divine, everlasting love; a love that will not let you go. God also sends His love to us through the love of others. When we live treasuring the love of God and others, many of our worries begin to fade. Joanne and I are very much aware that our battle for what is just and right may cost us everything, but our love sustains us. We’ve done poor once and can do it again if that is what it takes.
Worry often sneaks in when self-discipline is napping. Many worries can be quickly dissipated when we use self-discipline to stop and ask questions like “Is that what will really happen?” or “If that happens, how might God use it for good?” or “How can I turn that back to God?” That last question is an important one because, at least on one level, worry borders on blasphemy. If God is really in charge and knows the future and cares for me, what right do I have to worry? Robert Browning wrote “our times are in His hands who saith, ‘A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!”
The first verse we taught each of our three sons was 1 Peter 5:7: “Casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” Now the echo of my words to them speaks to me.3. I will thank God daily for a loving wife, my accepting kids and their wives, and the support, encouragement, and prayers of true friends.
Your list of people that you are thankful for may not be the same as mine, but you do have a list even if you haven’t written it down. An attitude of gratitude is a great antidote for the malaise we often slip into when we focus on the negatives or enter into a pity party. Bad things happen to good people but good friends can help us avoid morbidly dwelling on our tough times. Paul reminds us that God’s desire is that we be joyful always and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16 & 18). I think part of the key is the other admonition verse sandwiched between those two: “Pray continually.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). When we are constant in our prayers – including thanksgiving – it is almost impossible to not be joyful. Our prayers remind us that God is in control and that He loves us dearly . . . even, maybe especially, in tough times.
This past summer and early fall I had days that stretched into weeks of some of the darkest depression I have ever known. Life no longer seemed worth living. It was the prayers and comforting words of friends that helped lift the ominous clouds and enabled me to again focus with gratitude on the gracious goodness of our loving God. My renewed prayers often included the liturgical call and response: “God is good; all the time. All the time, God is good.” My prayers also began to faithfully thank God for the family and friends He has given me.
I will end with this email from yesterday that I received from my aunt. It illustrates why I will thank God every day for family and friends.
Our dearest loved one. We all truly love the person you are. You are such afine human being! We all wish you the best in this hard time ahead. Thank you so much for your call. We are all doing all we can to understand all you have been thru. If we can do anything, please let us know. As I said, I am so sad for what you have been thru and so thankful you have Jo beside you. What a wonderful partner you have. She is such a special person. Dave [my cousin] says 'we will still be playing golf together and my feeling for the person you are now is no different than before" Julie, Tom, Dianne and Dave [two other cousins and their husbands] send their love and we all pray for others to understand that you are such a great person of integrity for telling others how you feel. Please let me know what name you would like me to call you. Whatever you want is what it will be. I love you.
4. I will pray for those who ignorantly or willfully are unable or unwilling to accept me for who I am.
Praying for those that are making your life miserable is the best way to keep life in perspective. It worked for David. Many of the psalms start out with what certainly looks like whining, but by the time David is done with these prayers they have turned into confident testimony of God’s faithfulness.
Getting your head around someone being transgender is a lot to ask; even from families and friends. Asking that they try is appropriate and hopefully some will get it and those that don’t will say, “I don’t understand, but I love you.” The hard cases are those that are unwilling to try because of ingrained prejudice or cultural baggage. Praying helps.
In the current struggles with my employer, Joanne and I keep the university in our prayers on a daily basis. We pray for God to break through and help them understand. We pray for a peaceful and just resolution. If God has other plans, we will still continue to follow His leading and still keep praying.
One late October morning Joanne shared with me a portion of a footnoted verse from her daily Bible reading. It reads: “This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.’” (2 Chronicles 20:15b). Later that day we received a letter from the university that made the necessity of our legal action clear. God had prepared us for it and prayer has sustained us through “the battle”. 5. I will continue to grow in knowing and experiencing the presence of God in my life. I will keep following his leading.
Since I have been able to live a more authentic life – identifying and expressing myself in accord with my gender identity – worship has become more precious and meaningful, the fruits of the Spirit more treasured and manifest, and a clear sense of the presence and leading of God clear and certain. In dialogue with other Christian TG/TSs, I have found this experience to be the norm more than the exception. It should not surprise us that when we are more honest with God and others that our spiritual life will blossom and God will draw near.
Joanne and I have experienced God’s leading and going before us to prepare the way again and again in the last few years. It has been an ongoing confirmation of His blessing and leading and a great encouragement when others cannot comprehend what we are dealing with or why we desire to be open about it. Sometimes we feel like Abraham - going but not knowing where – but that’s what faith is all about. Like Abraham, we will complete the journey by continuing to follow God’s leading.
6. I will not listen to the "religious-talk" of those with words that seek to drown out the Holy Spirit's comfort and consolation in my life.
“Religious talk” is the use of spiritual – sometimes even Biblical – words to make statements that conflict with the revealed Word of God and the comforting and confirming presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The hateful words of “religious talk” are not the same as caring brothers and sisters in Christ with whom we might disagree. Most of Romans 14 is about how to get along with those we disagree with. Paul says we shouldn’t cause others to stumble but also shouldn’t let others speak evil of what we know to be good. He goes further to say that each should be convinced in their own mind and repeats an earlier reminder (12:18) to live in peace with those in Christ, as much as possible. Sometimes that is a difficult balance to strike.
With practice we can learn to differentiate between those who conscientiously seek Truth and those that use religious talk as justification for personal animosity or prejudice. One test is if someone is looking at the “whole counsel of God” or if they apply Biblical texts with great selectivity. It is possible to prove almost anything if you pick the right verses and ignore the context or the rest of the Bible. Here are some other tests. Do the words seek to build up or tear down? Are they words of love or words of disdain or even hate? Is the emphasis on law or grace?
When faced with those that would try to use the Bible as a club of condemnation, let’s follow Paul’s advice and warn them twice and then have nothing to do with them. Paul says those that delight in quarreling about the law are warped, sinful, and self-condemned (Titus 3:10, 11). Praying for those trapped in this folly can help us avoid responding with the same kind of venom directed at us. We can also seek to pray and live the 13th century prayer of St. Francis: “Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love.”7. I will become a Presbyterian.
How and why does a Baptist become a Presbyterian? The “how” is usually easy. You attend, take the classes, affirm your faith, and you are in. Of course if you are a transsexual, there is the added step of finding a church where you are welcome. Last Monday night, the session (leadership) of the church where Joanne and I have been attending had their monthly meeting. The pastor shared with them what we were dealing with. There were a few questions and then it was agreed that my TS was a non-issue and we were welcome to become members. (Most thought I was just a tall woman! J).
The “why” is somewhat more complicated but still not as much of a stretch as some might think. Joanne and I are both strongly reformed and conservative in our theology (but somewhat moderate in some social issues). This church was a solid fit. The issue of infant baptism was the only point that required some research and reflection. As I studied the Presbyterian position, it became clear that their practice was very close to the baby “dedication” that many churches practice. It is a commitment by the church to that child, a reminder of God’s covenant promises (and inclusion of the child into the life of the local church family), and an affirmation of God’s grace in redemption.
We also wanted a church that openly demonstrated the unconditional love modeled and called for by Jesus. This church has it. Their motto is “The little church with the big heart.” Right doctrine without the demonstrable love of Jesus is what the Pharisees had and too many churches have today. We have had enough of that.
So, we are becoming Presbyterians. I have always enjoyed the writings of R.C. Sproul and any denomination that has an ordained transgender pastor (Erin Swenson – you go girl!) sounds like a good place to be.8. I will not be silent when bigotry, discrimination, or hate cross-dress in the robes of Christianity. I will not let what I know to be good to be spoken of as evil.
A church – or a life – where bigotry, discrimination, or hate is tolerated is not a Christian church or a faithful Christian walk. It is a field day for Satan especially when this Serpent’s venom comes from the mouth of those claiming to be Christians. When Jesus sums up ALL the law and the prophets with two love commands, anything that is inconsistent with an ethic of love is seriously flawed. Our lives must seek to emulate the life of Jesus in loving and being inclusive of those that the “religious” look down on and seek to exclude. Jesus said that his children would be known not by their rules, righteousness, or even doctrine, but by their love.
Romans 14 explains to us how we are to deal with issues where Christian sisters and brothers may disagree. There are four principles that Paul gives us to pursue in dealing constructively with our differences: (1) be convinced of your position in your own mind, (2) do all you can to live at peace with others, (3) do your best to avoid causing others to stumble, and (4) do not let what you know to be good be spoken of as evil. The last principle is often the hardest to do. Part of my reason for pursuing a discrimination complaint is that my prescribed Standards of Care for my diagnosed condition – that I know to be good from prayer, research, experience, and the comfort of the Holy Spirit – are being called evil. I will not be silent about God’s goodness in my life, especially when others call it evil.
9. I will win.
This is not some macho, braggadocio, competitive thing. It is complete confidence in the promises of Christ. To win in competition is a human victory; to be “more than conquerors” is the power of God’s love for us. In life there will be setbacks, defeats, and disappointments but in Christ – through His sovereign power and grace – we march perpetually triumphant in the victor’s parade. This is the triumph that enables martyrs to die while singing praises, suffering saints to pray with joy and thanksgiving, and the persecuted Church to grow Divinely. Victory in Jesus is not dependent upon the circumstances of life but on faith in Christ the Victor.
One of my favorite pieces of music is Pavarotti singing his signature song: Nessun Dorma. The song is about a long night and an impending battle. It ends with a sound of unbelievable confidence and hope – a primal cry of triumph – vincerỏ, vincerỏ, vincerỏ! “I will conquer, I will conquer, I will conquer.” I will win.10. I will not take my life.This is last because it has taken the longest to get to and it is the hardest to write about. Due to illegal and harmful actions taken by my employer, there were weeks this past summer and early fall when thoughts of suicide were a constant demonic roar. Many times I composed an email that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” I knew how and where I would do it. God prevented the when.
God used my own desperate prayers, the prayers of others, and the compassion of my doctor (a Christian) to help me put these darkest of all days behind me. Now when Satan tries to bring this darkness to me, I can more quickly recognize it and turn it away. The simplest of prayers – “Help me Jesus” – is a most powerful weapon against the forces of darkness. I have many friends, known and unknown, who pray with me and God hears and gives the victory.
This side of those dark days I can also think more clearly about reasons for this resolution. One reason, as others have noted, is that suicide is the most selfish of acts. I do not want to hurt my wife and kids (and kids-in-law). I love them all too dearly to do that. I want to watch my grandson mature into a Godly man. I want to live and treasure the life God has given me; the woman I am becoming. I want to use the gifts God has given me for His glory.
Almost as strong a reason is the unwillingness to let hate and bigotry claim another victim. As many of you know, the negative responses of society, family, friends, and even “church” are the main reason the suicide rate is 20-25 times higher for transsexuals than the general population. I resolutely refuse to let prejudice or ignorance or hate win. The battle for understanding and acceptance of this medical condition and treatment needs all the warriors it can get. I will not take my life.
Resolved:
1. I will live authentically.
When we hear or read the command about not “bearing false witness” we often equate it with the need to avoid telling lies. I think truth telling is only a small part of the command.
Living a lie is also “bearing false witness”. Living authentically includes the positive virtues of openness and transparency – “being real” – but it also means not living a lie. Too often fear about what others might think or how others might act causes us to live the kind of false witness that protects us in the short term but will harm us in the long term. Yes, authenticity may have a cost, but isn’t it better for us and others than living a painful and dishonoring lie?
We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and loved deeply by our heavenly Father for who he has created us to be. Let’s live out his creation of us for His glory in a way that honors our Redeemer. Let’s live full of grace and truth.
2. I will not worry about what others think or say.
Worry is a form of fear; fear about the future. In reality it is fear about what the future might, maybe, possibly, could hold if everything possible goes wrong! In writing to Timothy (Timothy the Fearful?), Paul reminds us that God has not “given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). Those three antidotes to fear and worry are worth treasuring.
If we are living lives of authenticity (resolution #1) we have the power of integrity and a desire for truth to help us overcome worry. Often worry is based on lies Satan wants us to believe or doubts about the power of authentic living. Sometimes our worry comes when others abuse power. I have had the experience of well-intentioned (perhaps) friends with expertise in one area presume that this qualified them to speak with authority about my medical diagnosis and treatment! Trust the power of Him who works within you and not the words of man.
Love is also a good antidote for worry. Whatever the future holds, always remember that, in Christ, you are loved with a Divine, everlasting love; a love that will not let you go. God also sends His love to us through the love of others. When we live treasuring the love of God and others, many of our worries begin to fade. Joanne and I are very much aware that our battle for what is just and right may cost us everything, but our love sustains us. We’ve done poor once and can do it again if that is what it takes.
Worry often sneaks in when self-discipline is napping. Many worries can be quickly dissipated when we use self-discipline to stop and ask questions like “Is that what will really happen?” or “If that happens, how might God use it for good?” or “How can I turn that back to God?” That last question is an important one because, at least on one level, worry borders on blasphemy. If God is really in charge and knows the future and cares for me, what right do I have to worry? Robert Browning wrote “our times are in His hands who saith, ‘A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!”
The first verse we taught each of our three sons was 1 Peter 5:7: “Casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” Now the echo of my words to them speaks to me.3. I will thank God daily for a loving wife, my accepting kids and their wives, and the support, encouragement, and prayers of true friends.
Your list of people that you are thankful for may not be the same as mine, but you do have a list even if you haven’t written it down. An attitude of gratitude is a great antidote for the malaise we often slip into when we focus on the negatives or enter into a pity party. Bad things happen to good people but good friends can help us avoid morbidly dwelling on our tough times. Paul reminds us that God’s desire is that we be joyful always and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16 & 18). I think part of the key is the other admonition verse sandwiched between those two: “Pray continually.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). When we are constant in our prayers – including thanksgiving – it is almost impossible to not be joyful. Our prayers remind us that God is in control and that He loves us dearly . . . even, maybe especially, in tough times.
This past summer and early fall I had days that stretched into weeks of some of the darkest depression I have ever known. Life no longer seemed worth living. It was the prayers and comforting words of friends that helped lift the ominous clouds and enabled me to again focus with gratitude on the gracious goodness of our loving God. My renewed prayers often included the liturgical call and response: “God is good; all the time. All the time, God is good.” My prayers also began to faithfully thank God for the family and friends He has given me.
I will end with this email from yesterday that I received from my aunt. It illustrates why I will thank God every day for family and friends.
Our dearest loved one. We all truly love the person you are. You are such afine human being! We all wish you the best in this hard time ahead. Thank you so much for your call. We are all doing all we can to understand all you have been thru. If we can do anything, please let us know. As I said, I am so sad for what you have been thru and so thankful you have Jo beside you. What a wonderful partner you have. She is such a special person. Dave [my cousin] says 'we will still be playing golf together and my feeling for the person you are now is no different than before" Julie, Tom, Dianne and Dave [two other cousins and their husbands] send their love and we all pray for others to understand that you are such a great person of integrity for telling others how you feel. Please let me know what name you would like me to call you. Whatever you want is what it will be. I love you.
4. I will pray for those who ignorantly or willfully are unable or unwilling to accept me for who I am.
Praying for those that are making your life miserable is the best way to keep life in perspective. It worked for David. Many of the psalms start out with what certainly looks like whining, but by the time David is done with these prayers they have turned into confident testimony of God’s faithfulness.
Getting your head around someone being transgender is a lot to ask; even from families and friends. Asking that they try is appropriate and hopefully some will get it and those that don’t will say, “I don’t understand, but I love you.” The hard cases are those that are unwilling to try because of ingrained prejudice or cultural baggage. Praying helps.
In the current struggles with my employer, Joanne and I keep the university in our prayers on a daily basis. We pray for God to break through and help them understand. We pray for a peaceful and just resolution. If God has other plans, we will still continue to follow His leading and still keep praying.
One late October morning Joanne shared with me a portion of a footnoted verse from her daily Bible reading. It reads: “This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.’” (2 Chronicles 20:15b). Later that day we received a letter from the university that made the necessity of our legal action clear. God had prepared us for it and prayer has sustained us through “the battle”. 5. I will continue to grow in knowing and experiencing the presence of God in my life. I will keep following his leading.
Since I have been able to live a more authentic life – identifying and expressing myself in accord with my gender identity – worship has become more precious and meaningful, the fruits of the Spirit more treasured and manifest, and a clear sense of the presence and leading of God clear and certain. In dialogue with other Christian TG/TSs, I have found this experience to be the norm more than the exception. It should not surprise us that when we are more honest with God and others that our spiritual life will blossom and God will draw near.
Joanne and I have experienced God’s leading and going before us to prepare the way again and again in the last few years. It has been an ongoing confirmation of His blessing and leading and a great encouragement when others cannot comprehend what we are dealing with or why we desire to be open about it. Sometimes we feel like Abraham - going but not knowing where – but that’s what faith is all about. Like Abraham, we will complete the journey by continuing to follow God’s leading.
6. I will not listen to the "religious-talk" of those with words that seek to drown out the Holy Spirit's comfort and consolation in my life.
“Religious talk” is the use of spiritual – sometimes even Biblical – words to make statements that conflict with the revealed Word of God and the comforting and confirming presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The hateful words of “religious talk” are not the same as caring brothers and sisters in Christ with whom we might disagree. Most of Romans 14 is about how to get along with those we disagree with. Paul says we shouldn’t cause others to stumble but also shouldn’t let others speak evil of what we know to be good. He goes further to say that each should be convinced in their own mind and repeats an earlier reminder (12:18) to live in peace with those in Christ, as much as possible. Sometimes that is a difficult balance to strike.
With practice we can learn to differentiate between those who conscientiously seek Truth and those that use religious talk as justification for personal animosity or prejudice. One test is if someone is looking at the “whole counsel of God” or if they apply Biblical texts with great selectivity. It is possible to prove almost anything if you pick the right verses and ignore the context or the rest of the Bible. Here are some other tests. Do the words seek to build up or tear down? Are they words of love or words of disdain or even hate? Is the emphasis on law or grace?
When faced with those that would try to use the Bible as a club of condemnation, let’s follow Paul’s advice and warn them twice and then have nothing to do with them. Paul says those that delight in quarreling about the law are warped, sinful, and self-condemned (Titus 3:10, 11). Praying for those trapped in this folly can help us avoid responding with the same kind of venom directed at us. We can also seek to pray and live the 13th century prayer of St. Francis: “Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love.”7. I will become a Presbyterian.
How and why does a Baptist become a Presbyterian? The “how” is usually easy. You attend, take the classes, affirm your faith, and you are in. Of course if you are a transsexual, there is the added step of finding a church where you are welcome. Last Monday night, the session (leadership) of the church where Joanne and I have been attending had their monthly meeting. The pastor shared with them what we were dealing with. There were a few questions and then it was agreed that my TS was a non-issue and we were welcome to become members. (Most thought I was just a tall woman! J).
The “why” is somewhat more complicated but still not as much of a stretch as some might think. Joanne and I are both strongly reformed and conservative in our theology (but somewhat moderate in some social issues). This church was a solid fit. The issue of infant baptism was the only point that required some research and reflection. As I studied the Presbyterian position, it became clear that their practice was very close to the baby “dedication” that many churches practice. It is a commitment by the church to that child, a reminder of God’s covenant promises (and inclusion of the child into the life of the local church family), and an affirmation of God’s grace in redemption.
We also wanted a church that openly demonstrated the unconditional love modeled and called for by Jesus. This church has it. Their motto is “The little church with the big heart.” Right doctrine without the demonstrable love of Jesus is what the Pharisees had and too many churches have today. We have had enough of that.
So, we are becoming Presbyterians. I have always enjoyed the writings of R.C. Sproul and any denomination that has an ordained transgender pastor (Erin Swenson – you go girl!) sounds like a good place to be.8. I will not be silent when bigotry, discrimination, or hate cross-dress in the robes of Christianity. I will not let what I know to be good to be spoken of as evil.
A church – or a life – where bigotry, discrimination, or hate is tolerated is not a Christian church or a faithful Christian walk. It is a field day for Satan especially when this Serpent’s venom comes from the mouth of those claiming to be Christians. When Jesus sums up ALL the law and the prophets with two love commands, anything that is inconsistent with an ethic of love is seriously flawed. Our lives must seek to emulate the life of Jesus in loving and being inclusive of those that the “religious” look down on and seek to exclude. Jesus said that his children would be known not by their rules, righteousness, or even doctrine, but by their love.
Romans 14 explains to us how we are to deal with issues where Christian sisters and brothers may disagree. There are four principles that Paul gives us to pursue in dealing constructively with our differences: (1) be convinced of your position in your own mind, (2) do all you can to live at peace with others, (3) do your best to avoid causing others to stumble, and (4) do not let what you know to be good be spoken of as evil. The last principle is often the hardest to do. Part of my reason for pursuing a discrimination complaint is that my prescribed Standards of Care for my diagnosed condition – that I know to be good from prayer, research, experience, and the comfort of the Holy Spirit – are being called evil. I will not be silent about God’s goodness in my life, especially when others call it evil.
9. I will win.
This is not some macho, braggadocio, competitive thing. It is complete confidence in the promises of Christ. To win in competition is a human victory; to be “more than conquerors” is the power of God’s love for us. In life there will be setbacks, defeats, and disappointments but in Christ – through His sovereign power and grace – we march perpetually triumphant in the victor’s parade. This is the triumph that enables martyrs to die while singing praises, suffering saints to pray with joy and thanksgiving, and the persecuted Church to grow Divinely. Victory in Jesus is not dependent upon the circumstances of life but on faith in Christ the Victor.
One of my favorite pieces of music is Pavarotti singing his signature song: Nessun Dorma. The song is about a long night and an impending battle. It ends with a sound of unbelievable confidence and hope – a primal cry of triumph – vincerỏ, vincerỏ, vincerỏ! “I will conquer, I will conquer, I will conquer.” I will win.10. I will not take my life.This is last because it has taken the longest to get to and it is the hardest to write about. Due to illegal and harmful actions taken by my employer, there were weeks this past summer and early fall when thoughts of suicide were a constant demonic roar. Many times I composed an email that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” I knew how and where I would do it. God prevented the when.
God used my own desperate prayers, the prayers of others, and the compassion of my doctor (a Christian) to help me put these darkest of all days behind me. Now when Satan tries to bring this darkness to me, I can more quickly recognize it and turn it away. The simplest of prayers – “Help me Jesus” – is a most powerful weapon against the forces of darkness. I have many friends, known and unknown, who pray with me and God hears and gives the victory.
This side of those dark days I can also think more clearly about reasons for this resolution. One reason, as others have noted, is that suicide is the most selfish of acts. I do not want to hurt my wife and kids (and kids-in-law). I love them all too dearly to do that. I want to watch my grandson mature into a Godly man. I want to live and treasure the life God has given me; the woman I am becoming. I want to use the gifts God has given me for His glory.
Almost as strong a reason is the unwillingness to let hate and bigotry claim another victim. As many of you know, the negative responses of society, family, friends, and even “church” are the main reason the suicide rate is 20-25 times higher for transsexuals than the general population. I resolutely refuse to let prejudice or ignorance or hate win. The battle for understanding and acceptance of this medical condition and treatment needs all the warriors it can get. I will not take my life.
CitPat Runs Follow-up Article
The story has again made front page in Jackson. They even mention this blog. I won't ramble about it this time, I'll just give you the link. You can tell me what you think in the comments section.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Things Get Ugly at the Extremes
As I said in an earlier post, I think there is a lot of room for differences of opinion within the Church on the issue of what to think about the Transgendered. It isn't easy to define a solid position for or against it based on clearly applicable scriptures. There are a lot of verses at the periphery of the issue, and if you pick from those, you can come up with very different theologies. So, in light of that, it really bothers me when Christians resort first to attacking other Christians for their different interpretations. I'd challenge anyone who thinks that their theology captures all that God is to reconcile with Romans 11:33. Or, as Shakespeare would say: "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Two clergy have taken up opposite extremes, each bashing the other, and I wanted to make it clear I don't think either of them are helping things.
The first is the "MadPriest," an Anglican priest from England. He posts the article from the CitPat with the heading "Today's Complete and Utter Bastards Are: Spring Arbor University." From perusing his blog, I think he is intentionally over the top, but I don't think it is helpful to having a reasonable discussion. I appreciate his support for my Father, but I don't think he has to bash fellow Christians to do it.
The second may be worse than the first. This one comes from the superintendant of the southern Michigan conference of the Free Methodist Church, Pastor Tom Ramundo. He tries to tar my father by association in noting that the whole thing "seems very carefully orchestrated" to advance the gay agenda. My dad's not gay, and he'll be the first to tell you there is a difference between being transgender and being gay (or maybe he'd be the second to tell you, and my mom the first, I'm not sure which). The article continues to quote him: "I know that university really well, and I know its leadership," he says. "I am sure they have endeavored to treat him in a redemptive way." The Free Methodist superintendent describes the situation as "just one of those issues where there’s that tension between love and purity, and the school’s just finally having to take a strong biblical stand." Of course, he doesn't say what makes this position "biblical" (they continue to be silent about what the Bible has to say about things). It just seems very arrogant and reckless to me placing his confidence in his personal relationships with the walking saints that apparently govern Spring Arbor. The facts: they told him to lie; kept him from relating with his fellow colleagues; and did everything they could to keep him out of sight. I don't see how this is meant to be redemptive. I could go on about the attrocities commited in the name of "purity" but that might be unfairly lumping someone together with something they are obviously not, and I'm trying to avoid that.
The first is the "MadPriest," an Anglican priest from England. He posts the article from the CitPat with the heading "Today's Complete and Utter Bastards Are: Spring Arbor University." From perusing his blog, I think he is intentionally over the top, but I don't think it is helpful to having a reasonable discussion. I appreciate his support for my Father, but I don't think he has to bash fellow Christians to do it.
The second may be worse than the first. This one comes from the superintendant of the southern Michigan conference of the Free Methodist Church, Pastor Tom Ramundo. He tries to tar my father by association in noting that the whole thing "seems very carefully orchestrated" to advance the gay agenda. My dad's not gay, and he'll be the first to tell you there is a difference between being transgender and being gay (or maybe he'd be the second to tell you, and my mom the first, I'm not sure which). The article continues to quote him: "I know that university really well, and I know its leadership," he says. "I am sure they have endeavored to treat him in a redemptive way." The Free Methodist superintendent describes the situation as "just one of those issues where there’s that tension between love and purity, and the school’s just finally having to take a strong biblical stand." Of course, he doesn't say what makes this position "biblical" (they continue to be silent about what the Bible has to say about things). It just seems very arrogant and reckless to me placing his confidence in his personal relationships with the walking saints that apparently govern Spring Arbor. The facts: they told him to lie; kept him from relating with his fellow colleagues; and did everything they could to keep him out of sight. I don't see how this is meant to be redemptive. I could go on about the attrocities commited in the name of "purity" but that might be unfairly lumping someone together with something they are obviously not, and I'm trying to avoid that.
The Legal Side of Things
There are many ways to look at my Father's situation with Spring Arbor University. Among these are: moral/ethical; theological; economic; cultural; political; and legal. I've touched on a few of the other areas, but I wanted to say something about the legal side of things. I am not a lawyer, obviously, but I live in DC, so I get some legal-mindedness by osmosis. There are a number of freedoms from the Bill of Rights and EEO laws that enter the discussion here: Freedom of Speech (and expression); Freedom of Religion; Freedom of the Press; and Freedom from discrimination on the basis of sex, race, or creed (I'm sure I'm missing some there). The Bill of Rights offers protections first to individuals - "the People." The freedoms apply not only to individuals, but organizations as well, though some restrictions are placed on organizations. We'd hardly want to trade the tyranny of government for tyranny of some other organization, so the Bill of Rights protects the rights of each individual over those of organizations except in certain circumstances as defined by law. SAU could have claimed those exemptions if they were primarily a religious institution or owned by a religious institution, or if they had a "BFOQ" (Bonafide Occupational Qualification). I don't think they've satisfied either condition, but as I said, I'm no lawyer. If you want to know what a lawyer has to say about all of this, check out this blog on my father's claim.
Of course, I'm not the only one with a legal opinion. A Conservative blogger at HumanEvents.com claims that if my father's claim is upheld it would "be a serious blow to freedoms of religion and association." He seems misinformed in some areas, often confusing "sex" and "gender" and resorts to hyperbole to try and prove his point. I don't know if I should even take this blogger seriously, but their claims that upholding my Father's claim would harm freedom of religion and association seem to turn the situation on its head. The University forced my father to accept a contract that restricted his religious freedom, freedom of association, and freedom of speech. Overturning that contract does not "damage" freedom, it restores it.
Of course, I'm not the only one with a legal opinion. A Conservative blogger at HumanEvents.com claims that if my father's claim is upheld it would "be a serious blow to freedoms of religion and association." He seems misinformed in some areas, often confusing "sex" and "gender" and resorts to hyperbole to try and prove his point. I don't know if I should even take this blogger seriously, but their claims that upholding my Father's claim would harm freedom of religion and association seem to turn the situation on its head. The University forced my father to accept a contract that restricted his religious freedom, freedom of association, and freedom of speech. Overturning that contract does not "damage" freedom, it restores it.
A Transsexual Theology
This link is to a comprehensive look at a theology which supports transsexuals. It is a very thoughtful and Biblical piece: http://www.whosoever.org/v2Issue2/starchild.html
GID Treatment
This from a amicus (Friend of the Court) brief filed by the ACLU. It is a very accurate description of the necessity of treatment which follows the recognized Standards of Care.
GID: A Medical Diagnosis Requiring Effective & Ethical Treatment[*]
1) Gender Identity Disorder (“GID”) is a recognized medical condition identified in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. DSM-IV 532 (4th ed. 1994).
2) GID, sometimes known as gender dysphoria or transsexualism, is a serious health condition that involves a strong and consistent cross-gender identification and a persistent discomfort with one’s anatomical sex.
3) For people with gender dysphoria, the conflict between their gender identity and their anatomy causes extreme psychological distress. Contemporary medical knowledge indicates that gender identity cannot be changed, and that attempts to change a person’s gender identity are futile and unethical.
4) Mounting medical research indicates that gender dysphoria is caused by biological or physiological factors that are not yet fully understood. For example, an article entitled “A Sex Difference in the Human Brain and Its Relations to Transsexualism,” authored by J.-N. Zhou, M.A. Hofman, L.J. Gooren, D.F. Swaab and published at International Journal of Transgenderism 1 (1997), reports that an area of the brain involved in human sexual or reproductive functions was female-sized in male-to-female transsexuals.
5) The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (“HBIGDA”) is the leading professional association for surgeons, doctors, medical researchers and others who specialize in the medical treatment of people with gender dysphoria. Based on decades of clinical experience, HBIGDA has promulgated medical standards of care for treating patients with gender dysphoria.
6) The HBIGDA Standards of Care for Gender Identity Disorders (“SOC”) recognize that treatment is medically necessary for people with gender dysphoria. The SOC further indicate that the therapeutic approach often includes three components (hormone therapy, living as a member of the gender corresponding with one’s identity, and sex reassignment surgery), and that the appropriate course of treatment should be determined based upon individualized medical evaluation.
[*] Excerpted - with emphases added - from a legal brief jointly submitted by the ACLU and Lambda Legal on 1/24/06 in the U.S. District Court for Eastern Wisconsin. These statements were presented as facts relevant to a case involving a person that has the same medical diagnosis as I do.
GID: A Medical Diagnosis Requiring Effective & Ethical Treatment[*]
1) Gender Identity Disorder (“GID”) is a recognized medical condition identified in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. DSM-IV 532 (4th ed. 1994).
2) GID, sometimes known as gender dysphoria or transsexualism, is a serious health condition that involves a strong and consistent cross-gender identification and a persistent discomfort with one’s anatomical sex.
3) For people with gender dysphoria, the conflict between their gender identity and their anatomy causes extreme psychological distress. Contemporary medical knowledge indicates that gender identity cannot be changed, and that attempts to change a person’s gender identity are futile and unethical.
4) Mounting medical research indicates that gender dysphoria is caused by biological or physiological factors that are not yet fully understood. For example, an article entitled “A Sex Difference in the Human Brain and Its Relations to Transsexualism,” authored by J.-N. Zhou, M.A. Hofman, L.J. Gooren, D.F. Swaab and published at International Journal of Transgenderism 1 (1997), reports that an area of the brain involved in human sexual or reproductive functions was female-sized in male-to-female transsexuals.
5) The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (“HBIGDA”) is the leading professional association for surgeons, doctors, medical researchers and others who specialize in the medical treatment of people with gender dysphoria. Based on decades of clinical experience, HBIGDA has promulgated medical standards of care for treating patients with gender dysphoria.
6) The HBIGDA Standards of Care for Gender Identity Disorders (“SOC”) recognize that treatment is medically necessary for people with gender dysphoria. The SOC further indicate that the therapeutic approach often includes three components (hormone therapy, living as a member of the gender corresponding with one’s identity, and sex reassignment surgery), and that the appropriate course of treatment should be determined based upon individualized medical evaluation.
[*] Excerpted - with emphases added - from a legal brief jointly submitted by the ACLU and Lambda Legal on 1/24/06 in the U.S. District Court for Eastern Wisconsin. These statements were presented as facts relevant to a case involving a person that has the same medical diagnosis as I do.
Julie's Faith Journey
This describes how being transgender has impacted my faith walk:
Julie’s Story
Soli Deo Gloria
An explanation as to how and why my transgendered living is for the glory of God
“Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). I knew the life-changing power of this verse from a very early age. Raised as a preacher’s kid, early in life I came to know Jesus as my Savior and, as I grew in Him, living for the glory of God became a natural way of life. As a teenager, I led one of the largest Youth for Christ clubs in the Midwest. In spite of saying that the last thing I would ever be is a minister, I followed God’s leading and ministered faithfully in pastoral leadership for nearly 20 years (including significant roles in denominational leadership). When I made a career change to Christian higher education, I knew I was doing it because it was where God wanted me and I desired to live my life for His glory.
During my 53rd year – during some time alone – I faced some feelings and thoughts that had been with me all my life. These thoughts and feelings were well-suppressed during most of my life. At times though, they were very near the surface and even occasionally translated into well-hidden actions. But now these thoughts and feelings were so overwhelming that I could do nothing else but face them. I had always delighted in things feminine, especially dressing up as a girl or woman but it was always something that remained hidden and secretive. I didn’t want others to know. Now, for reasons I cannot explain (but I believe are from God), I was face-to-face with how important this aspect of my personhood was to my own emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. I shared this with my wife and we began a hard, joyous, love-building journey toward where I am today. It was hard because it took her completely by surprise (although she could see some things in retrospect that now made more sense) and involved dealing with confusion, anger, frustration, and serious research (often all at once!). It was joyous because of her support, counsel, and participation even in the midst of the struggle. It was (and is) love-building because it has brought us closer then we have ever been before. She moved more quickly to acceptance and support than many wives do because of both her love for me and her walk with God. I could not have made the trip without her and thank God for her every day.
The journey has brought me to a life that gives more frequent and open expression of who I am. The first few months were a time of genuine soul-searching. Didn’t I still desire to live my life for the glory of God? Yes, I did! Could that possibly include living out my gender identity? We searched the Scriptures, talked, and prayed. Where we ended up is with a life that seeks to live with integrity as the person I am for the glory of God. The issue is not so much about being transgender as it is the fuller, more authentic expression of who I am. Being Julie is simply part of that expression of the “me” inside. What follows is an explanation of how and why I am peacefully confident – at the very core of my being – that the open and honest expression of the transgendered person I am is for the glory of God.
Living transgendered prompts me to more and more spontaneous praise.
Living authentically has helped filled my life with praise for things that used to be ignored or suppressed. Colors, fabrics, smells, sights that once would have had little impact are now praise moments. I celebrate with joy the soft and beautiful that might have been tolerated (at best) before. These things were there all along, but with Julie now an open part of my expression of who I am, they have taken on new meaning and significance. My praise for all things, but especially where God has led me in discovering and celebrating who I am, is not only more frequent, it is deeper, more heartfelt and more genuine. My worship is filled with gratitude and thanksgiving – along with unbounded praise! – for the ways God has opened my life up to celebrating so much more of His world and His grace to me. I praise him not only for what I see and experience, but also – with tears of heartfelt joy – for His enabling grace and a loving spouse that have made it possible for me to do so.
Living transgendered makes me a better helpmate.
At one level, expressing the feminine me has caused delight in doing more “feminine” chores around the house. I genuinely enjoy doing cooking, laundry, cleaning, and shopping as expressions of my femininity (as well as an expression of love for my wife). Julie has been a big help around the house! My helpmate growth can also be seen in other ways. Conversations with my wife are more heartfelt, close, and engaging (even when they sometimes may be painful). My wife says that in some ways she now has the person back that she dated some thirty plus years ago. The pressures of career, raising a family, and suppressing the feminine me had built up a wall that has now come down. I am able to feel and give genuine expression to emotions that I never consciously experienced before (which is also sometimes painful). I am able to experientially share in some of her joys and pleasures in meaningful and exciting ways. I have also grown in my appreciation of her body and all that is involved in “looking pretty.” For the glory of God, these things have all helped me be a better helpmate and helped strengthen the marriage He has given us.
Living Transgendered has deepened my understanding of and intimacy with God.
Actively expressing the feminine “me” has helped me grow closer to God. While not conscious of it until recently, my suppression of so much of who I am had also made it difficult to draw close to God; I was trying to keep part of me from Him. My worship and conversations in prayer now involve the heart as much as (if not more than) the mind. I now experience many Bible passages with a new feeling and understanding. For example, I celebrate with new delight the reminder that God made “man” both male and female in His image (Genesis 1:27); male/female is in the image of God! I also often now echo the psalmist’s praise for how wonderfully complex God has made me (Psalm 139:14). God made me this delightful way! I am overwhelmed anew with the goodness of God’s grace in bringing me to this point in my life and celebrate the love that loves me as I am; created, redeemed, and loved. My expression of who I am helps enable and enhance all of this.
In the movie Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell was asked by his sister to stop training for the Olympics and return to the mission field. He told her he couldn’t because “When I run, I feel His pleasure.” When I am living a life that gives full expression to the “me” He has made, I feel His pleasure and it prompts me to praise.
Living Transgendered has heightened my appreciation of creation.
In many ways, a whole new world has been opened up before my eyes. It’s like being there when God created the heavens and the earth. I’m seeing things for the first time with softer, more sensitive, more appreciative eyes. Feminine curves and fashions, flowers, rainbows, and colors appear with joy, excitement, and God-honoring appreciation as if I had never seen them before. Some use the phrase “gender euphoria” to describe the child-like excitement and energy that is often present (and sometimes unbounded) in those that have recently come out. There certainly is an element of that, but there is also the unmistakable sense of God euphoria in celebrating again the gentleness, freshness, and beauty of His creation.
Living Transgendered enables me to experience and express the fruits of the Spirit with richer fullness.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control have all taken on God-given dimensions that I never knew. The more integrated “me” experiences these fruits of the Spirit with a fascinatingly new perspective and seeks to give them expression with an openness and fervor that I never knew before. God’s love overwhelms me and prompts me to give expression of that love to others with a new depth and gentleness. Joy fills me to overflowing when I am able to experience and give expression to the woman within. There is a deep and abiding peace that truly “passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).
Living Transgendered brings my world to life.
Life has an energy, joy, celebration, and satisfaction that I cannot begin to explain or even understand. With the more complete me finding fuller expression; every day has a Divine power and presence to it that is comforting and stimulating all at once. God is near. The Michael W. Smith Christmas song, “All is Well” took on new meaning this year. The opening words are
“All is well, all is well; angels and men rejoice
For tonight darkness fell into the dawn of love’s light.
Sing Alleluia. All is well”
The song was used in church to accompany a ballet performance of three adolescent girls. I was in tears of joyful worship as God’s comforting and fulfilling love overwhelmed me. All of my senses are often now stimulated in God-glorifying new, exciting, and satisfying ways. It is as if a burden was lifted and a treasure was found all at once.
Living Transgendered enables and encourages praise for the “me” resting in God’s arms.
The collective impact of all the above is that I feel and know a peace and praise that goes beyond anything I have known in 50 years as a believer. I feel the comfort of resting in Him and the joy of delighting in His love for me. There is a calm confidence in my life that comes from knowing that I am walking with Him in expressions of me that were always there but never before given opportunity; but now are freed for praise by His grace.
In summary, my transgendered living enables and helps me express grace, love, and peace in ways that can only be Divine and can only redound to the praise of His glory.
Peace &Love,
Julie
Julie’s Story
Soli Deo Gloria
An explanation as to how and why my transgendered living is for the glory of God
“Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). I knew the life-changing power of this verse from a very early age. Raised as a preacher’s kid, early in life I came to know Jesus as my Savior and, as I grew in Him, living for the glory of God became a natural way of life. As a teenager, I led one of the largest Youth for Christ clubs in the Midwest. In spite of saying that the last thing I would ever be is a minister, I followed God’s leading and ministered faithfully in pastoral leadership for nearly 20 years (including significant roles in denominational leadership). When I made a career change to Christian higher education, I knew I was doing it because it was where God wanted me and I desired to live my life for His glory.
During my 53rd year – during some time alone – I faced some feelings and thoughts that had been with me all my life. These thoughts and feelings were well-suppressed during most of my life. At times though, they were very near the surface and even occasionally translated into well-hidden actions. But now these thoughts and feelings were so overwhelming that I could do nothing else but face them. I had always delighted in things feminine, especially dressing up as a girl or woman but it was always something that remained hidden and secretive. I didn’t want others to know. Now, for reasons I cannot explain (but I believe are from God), I was face-to-face with how important this aspect of my personhood was to my own emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. I shared this with my wife and we began a hard, joyous, love-building journey toward where I am today. It was hard because it took her completely by surprise (although she could see some things in retrospect that now made more sense) and involved dealing with confusion, anger, frustration, and serious research (often all at once!). It was joyous because of her support, counsel, and participation even in the midst of the struggle. It was (and is) love-building because it has brought us closer then we have ever been before. She moved more quickly to acceptance and support than many wives do because of both her love for me and her walk with God. I could not have made the trip without her and thank God for her every day.
The journey has brought me to a life that gives more frequent and open expression of who I am. The first few months were a time of genuine soul-searching. Didn’t I still desire to live my life for the glory of God? Yes, I did! Could that possibly include living out my gender identity? We searched the Scriptures, talked, and prayed. Where we ended up is with a life that seeks to live with integrity as the person I am for the glory of God. The issue is not so much about being transgender as it is the fuller, more authentic expression of who I am. Being Julie is simply part of that expression of the “me” inside. What follows is an explanation of how and why I am peacefully confident – at the very core of my being – that the open and honest expression of the transgendered person I am is for the glory of God.
Living transgendered prompts me to more and more spontaneous praise.
Living authentically has helped filled my life with praise for things that used to be ignored or suppressed. Colors, fabrics, smells, sights that once would have had little impact are now praise moments. I celebrate with joy the soft and beautiful that might have been tolerated (at best) before. These things were there all along, but with Julie now an open part of my expression of who I am, they have taken on new meaning and significance. My praise for all things, but especially where God has led me in discovering and celebrating who I am, is not only more frequent, it is deeper, more heartfelt and more genuine. My worship is filled with gratitude and thanksgiving – along with unbounded praise! – for the ways God has opened my life up to celebrating so much more of His world and His grace to me. I praise him not only for what I see and experience, but also – with tears of heartfelt joy – for His enabling grace and a loving spouse that have made it possible for me to do so.
Living transgendered makes me a better helpmate.
At one level, expressing the feminine me has caused delight in doing more “feminine” chores around the house. I genuinely enjoy doing cooking, laundry, cleaning, and shopping as expressions of my femininity (as well as an expression of love for my wife). Julie has been a big help around the house! My helpmate growth can also be seen in other ways. Conversations with my wife are more heartfelt, close, and engaging (even when they sometimes may be painful). My wife says that in some ways she now has the person back that she dated some thirty plus years ago. The pressures of career, raising a family, and suppressing the feminine me had built up a wall that has now come down. I am able to feel and give genuine expression to emotions that I never consciously experienced before (which is also sometimes painful). I am able to experientially share in some of her joys and pleasures in meaningful and exciting ways. I have also grown in my appreciation of her body and all that is involved in “looking pretty.” For the glory of God, these things have all helped me be a better helpmate and helped strengthen the marriage He has given us.
Living Transgendered has deepened my understanding of and intimacy with God.
Actively expressing the feminine “me” has helped me grow closer to God. While not conscious of it until recently, my suppression of so much of who I am had also made it difficult to draw close to God; I was trying to keep part of me from Him. My worship and conversations in prayer now involve the heart as much as (if not more than) the mind. I now experience many Bible passages with a new feeling and understanding. For example, I celebrate with new delight the reminder that God made “man” both male and female in His image (Genesis 1:27); male/female is in the image of God! I also often now echo the psalmist’s praise for how wonderfully complex God has made me (Psalm 139:14). God made me this delightful way! I am overwhelmed anew with the goodness of God’s grace in bringing me to this point in my life and celebrate the love that loves me as I am; created, redeemed, and loved. My expression of who I am helps enable and enhance all of this.
In the movie Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell was asked by his sister to stop training for the Olympics and return to the mission field. He told her he couldn’t because “When I run, I feel His pleasure.” When I am living a life that gives full expression to the “me” He has made, I feel His pleasure and it prompts me to praise.
Living Transgendered has heightened my appreciation of creation.
In many ways, a whole new world has been opened up before my eyes. It’s like being there when God created the heavens and the earth. I’m seeing things for the first time with softer, more sensitive, more appreciative eyes. Feminine curves and fashions, flowers, rainbows, and colors appear with joy, excitement, and God-honoring appreciation as if I had never seen them before. Some use the phrase “gender euphoria” to describe the child-like excitement and energy that is often present (and sometimes unbounded) in those that have recently come out. There certainly is an element of that, but there is also the unmistakable sense of God euphoria in celebrating again the gentleness, freshness, and beauty of His creation.
Living Transgendered enables me to experience and express the fruits of the Spirit with richer fullness.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control have all taken on God-given dimensions that I never knew. The more integrated “me” experiences these fruits of the Spirit with a fascinatingly new perspective and seeks to give them expression with an openness and fervor that I never knew before. God’s love overwhelms me and prompts me to give expression of that love to others with a new depth and gentleness. Joy fills me to overflowing when I am able to experience and give expression to the woman within. There is a deep and abiding peace that truly “passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).
Living Transgendered brings my world to life.
Life has an energy, joy, celebration, and satisfaction that I cannot begin to explain or even understand. With the more complete me finding fuller expression; every day has a Divine power and presence to it that is comforting and stimulating all at once. God is near. The Michael W. Smith Christmas song, “All is Well” took on new meaning this year. The opening words are
“All is well, all is well; angels and men rejoice
For tonight darkness fell into the dawn of love’s light.
Sing Alleluia. All is well”
The song was used in church to accompany a ballet performance of three adolescent girls. I was in tears of joyful worship as God’s comforting and fulfilling love overwhelmed me. All of my senses are often now stimulated in God-glorifying new, exciting, and satisfying ways. It is as if a burden was lifted and a treasure was found all at once.
Living Transgendered enables and encourages praise for the “me” resting in God’s arms.
The collective impact of all the above is that I feel and know a peace and praise that goes beyond anything I have known in 50 years as a believer. I feel the comfort of resting in Him and the joy of delighting in His love for me. There is a calm confidence in my life that comes from knowing that I am walking with Him in expressions of me that were always there but never before given opportunity; but now are freed for praise by His grace.
In summary, my transgendered living enables and helps me express grace, love, and peace in ways that can only be Divine and can only redound to the praise of His glory.
Peace &Love,
Julie
My Gender Identity Disorder
This is something I wrote some time ago that has been of help for many people:
My Gender Identity Disorder
Background and Diagnosis
Some of my earliest childhood memories are of thoughts and feelings that I was a girl. My playmates of choice were most often girls up through 5th grade. We played “girl” games (pretend, hopscotch, jump-rope, jacks, etc.). Peer pressure (verbal and physical) in 5th and 6th grades caused me to seek to begin to repress these feelings and move away from these activities. From that point on through high school, I became more active in sports and in leadership roles while still nurturing interests in music, cooking, art, and flowers (my dates always had the nicest bouquets!). As busy as I kept and as hard as I tried to keep them down, the feelings and thoughts bubbled up and must have been transparent to some. Girls would frequently seek me out just to talk because I “wasn’t like the other guys.”
In college and adulthood I took on roles and cultural norms which made the thoughts and feelings invisible to most eyes. However, these thoughts and feelings were still there causing anxiety, stress, and feelings of shame (at having to hide this part of me). Temporary relief sometimes came from clothing or grooming (a gold chain/necklace, soft fabrics, etc.) and –whenever possible – clandestine cross dressing. I did the best I could in the roles I was called to fill, but knew they were not me . . . or at least fully and authentically me.
In November 2003 I shared as much as I understood at the time with Joanne concerning my feelings and thoughts related to my gender discomfort. After a tough time of confusion, anger, and tears we began to try and deal with the deep secret that was now out in the open. We talked about events from both my childhood and our married life together that helped us illustrate, substantiate, and define the feelings and thoughts I was trying to express. With Joanne’s support, comfort, and encouragement we begin a process of prayer, study, and conversation that eventually led to my consultation with an international authority in the field and a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder. This DSM-IV diagnosis (302.85) was confirmed and supported by my primary care physician, a leading endocrinologist, and, informally, by another therapist. Both my therapist and my primary care physician refer to my condition as a psychological diagnosis of a neurological condition.
Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is typically discussed as both a psychological and biological condition. Psychology tends to place an emphasis on the outward manifestations of depression, anxiety, and stress often connected with the gender dysphoria (feeling/believing one’s gender is incongruent with one’s biological sex). Medical and scientific research tends to emphasize pre-natal genetic/biological explanations and causes for the condition. The most recent medical/biological research points to “clear and incontrovertible evidence”[1] of GID being a neuro-developmental condition of the brain.[2] Because of this, the condition cannot be treated by counseling alone. Persons with my diagnosis require an approach that includes a blend of behavior changes and medical interventions. The stress related to not treating the condition (by following these prescribed medical protocols) is often life-threatening. My treatment includes some grooming and clothing choices, cross dressing, and pharmaceutical assistance. Both psychology and scientific research agree that the condition is treatable (by providing relief and comfort through various means) but not curable.
GID is most often described as having six stages (or types) ranging from persons who occasionally cross-dress to those transitioning to their perceived gender through reconstructive surgery.
My diagnosis is near the more intense end of the spectrum and can be described as follows . . .
My gender “feelings” and self-image are very strongly feminine.
I express these thoughts and feelings through clothing (some all the time and some when dressed totally en femme) and personal grooming choices (primarily make-up and long, manicured nails).
My sexual attraction is to my wife only.
Dressing is not connected with any sexual gratification.
Medical/pharmaceutical support is recommended and helpful. It has both emotional and physiological benefits for me.
Psychotherapy is not needed or advised. My diagnosis summary identifies me as “psychologically stable and upstanding”.
I identify myself as transgendered (or transsexual) and have a feminine identity that finds various expressions including a web site, some online publications, a list-serve/bulletin board for transgendered and transsexual Christians, and participation (with my wife) in a support group. I have also spoken at an international conference for the transgendered and their families on issues of faith development in the transgendered.
People often ask why this is just coming out now. My response is somewhat involved. It is something that I have been dealing with all my life. It is not new. Like many transgendered people I tried my best to raise my kids with a “good” role model; seeking to live up to the macho roles that society expects. I was able to do this (at a great emotional price), but deeply regret that my sons rarely saw the nurturing person behind the “Dad mask”. Once the kids were all raised and married, the emotional energy needed to keep suppressing the real me seemed to disappear. I simply could no longer keep up the façade. So “coming out” combined a desire for authenticity and integrity as well as an admission that my emotional health could not sustain any further duplicity. Once released, the Julie (my preferred name) within has grown in both understanding and expression of the woman within. It feels so right that wearing “guy clothes” often feels wrong. According to my therapist, it is very likely that the day is coming – perhaps soon – when I will be living full-time as a woman even if I do not pursue sexual reconstruction surgery (a shared decision that is based on the relationship between Joanne and me).
I am sharing this information because I value our friendship and believe this information may be of value in helping you understand GID and the transgendered in our world. There is much more I could share (personally, in terms of research, and in terms of transgender-related law), but this is probably enough (maybe more than enough) for now. I am always ready and willing to discuss this. It’s me so it is a topic I can speak about easily. J
[1] Dr. Craig Kinsley, neuroscientist at the University of Richmond as quoted in the AP article Boi or grrl? Youth culture testing the boundaries of gender identity and roles (10/1/05).
[2] This web link summarizes the conclusions of a renowned team of international researchers that included psychologists, doctors, and other specialists in this field. They concluded that GID is “strongly associated with the neurodevelopment of the brain” and that it has “not been found to be overcome by contrary socialization, nor by psychological or psychiatric treatments alone”. They emphasize a treatment that uses a variety or approaches consistent with the needs and circumstances of the individual. http://www.gires.org.uk/Web_Page_Assets/Etiology_definition_signed.htm
My Gender Identity Disorder
Background and Diagnosis
Some of my earliest childhood memories are of thoughts and feelings that I was a girl. My playmates of choice were most often girls up through 5th grade. We played “girl” games (pretend, hopscotch, jump-rope, jacks, etc.). Peer pressure (verbal and physical) in 5th and 6th grades caused me to seek to begin to repress these feelings and move away from these activities. From that point on through high school, I became more active in sports and in leadership roles while still nurturing interests in music, cooking, art, and flowers (my dates always had the nicest bouquets!). As busy as I kept and as hard as I tried to keep them down, the feelings and thoughts bubbled up and must have been transparent to some. Girls would frequently seek me out just to talk because I “wasn’t like the other guys.”
In college and adulthood I took on roles and cultural norms which made the thoughts and feelings invisible to most eyes. However, these thoughts and feelings were still there causing anxiety, stress, and feelings of shame (at having to hide this part of me). Temporary relief sometimes came from clothing or grooming (a gold chain/necklace, soft fabrics, etc.) and –whenever possible – clandestine cross dressing. I did the best I could in the roles I was called to fill, but knew they were not me . . . or at least fully and authentically me.
In November 2003 I shared as much as I understood at the time with Joanne concerning my feelings and thoughts related to my gender discomfort. After a tough time of confusion, anger, and tears we began to try and deal with the deep secret that was now out in the open. We talked about events from both my childhood and our married life together that helped us illustrate, substantiate, and define the feelings and thoughts I was trying to express. With Joanne’s support, comfort, and encouragement we begin a process of prayer, study, and conversation that eventually led to my consultation with an international authority in the field and a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder. This DSM-IV diagnosis (302.85) was confirmed and supported by my primary care physician, a leading endocrinologist, and, informally, by another therapist. Both my therapist and my primary care physician refer to my condition as a psychological diagnosis of a neurological condition.
Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is typically discussed as both a psychological and biological condition. Psychology tends to place an emphasis on the outward manifestations of depression, anxiety, and stress often connected with the gender dysphoria (feeling/believing one’s gender is incongruent with one’s biological sex). Medical and scientific research tends to emphasize pre-natal genetic/biological explanations and causes for the condition. The most recent medical/biological research points to “clear and incontrovertible evidence”[1] of GID being a neuro-developmental condition of the brain.[2] Because of this, the condition cannot be treated by counseling alone. Persons with my diagnosis require an approach that includes a blend of behavior changes and medical interventions. The stress related to not treating the condition (by following these prescribed medical protocols) is often life-threatening. My treatment includes some grooming and clothing choices, cross dressing, and pharmaceutical assistance. Both psychology and scientific research agree that the condition is treatable (by providing relief and comfort through various means) but not curable.
GID is most often described as having six stages (or types) ranging from persons who occasionally cross-dress to those transitioning to their perceived gender through reconstructive surgery.
My diagnosis is near the more intense end of the spectrum and can be described as follows . . .
My gender “feelings” and self-image are very strongly feminine.
I express these thoughts and feelings through clothing (some all the time and some when dressed totally en femme) and personal grooming choices (primarily make-up and long, manicured nails).
My sexual attraction is to my wife only.
Dressing is not connected with any sexual gratification.
Medical/pharmaceutical support is recommended and helpful. It has both emotional and physiological benefits for me.
Psychotherapy is not needed or advised. My diagnosis summary identifies me as “psychologically stable and upstanding”.
I identify myself as transgendered (or transsexual) and have a feminine identity that finds various expressions including a web site, some online publications, a list-serve/bulletin board for transgendered and transsexual Christians, and participation (with my wife) in a support group. I have also spoken at an international conference for the transgendered and their families on issues of faith development in the transgendered.
People often ask why this is just coming out now. My response is somewhat involved. It is something that I have been dealing with all my life. It is not new. Like many transgendered people I tried my best to raise my kids with a “good” role model; seeking to live up to the macho roles that society expects. I was able to do this (at a great emotional price), but deeply regret that my sons rarely saw the nurturing person behind the “Dad mask”. Once the kids were all raised and married, the emotional energy needed to keep suppressing the real me seemed to disappear. I simply could no longer keep up the façade. So “coming out” combined a desire for authenticity and integrity as well as an admission that my emotional health could not sustain any further duplicity. Once released, the Julie (my preferred name) within has grown in both understanding and expression of the woman within. It feels so right that wearing “guy clothes” often feels wrong. According to my therapist, it is very likely that the day is coming – perhaps soon – when I will be living full-time as a woman even if I do not pursue sexual reconstruction surgery (a shared decision that is based on the relationship between Joanne and me).
I am sharing this information because I value our friendship and believe this information may be of value in helping you understand GID and the transgendered in our world. There is much more I could share (personally, in terms of research, and in terms of transgender-related law), but this is probably enough (maybe more than enough) for now. I am always ready and willing to discuss this. It’s me so it is a topic I can speak about easily. J
[1] Dr. Craig Kinsley, neuroscientist at the University of Richmond as quoted in the AP article Boi or grrl? Youth culture testing the boundaries of gender identity and roles (10/1/05).
[2] This web link summarizes the conclusions of a renowned team of international researchers that included psychologists, doctors, and other specialists in this field. They concluded that GID is “strongly associated with the neurodevelopment of the brain” and that it has “not been found to be overcome by contrary socialization, nor by psychological or psychiatric treatments alone”. They emphasize a treatment that uses a variety or approaches consistent with the needs and circumstances of the individual. http://www.gires.org.uk/Web_Page_Assets/Etiology_definition_signed.htm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
